Elul: Awakening The Heart
A rabbi shares personal spiritual experiences from a summer trip to Poland, including discovering his wife's ancestral connection to a 19th-century Jewish scholar, and teaches Chassidic lessons about embracing difficult emotions rather than suppressing them as a path to deeper faith and service to God.
Summary
The speaker opens by expressing appreciation for the hosting rabbi's family and their integrated approach to Torah study and community work. He then recounts a profound personal story from summer 2024: he and his wife traveled to Poland to visit the grave of the Sefas Emes and explore her family roots in Bialystok. His wife, whose maiden name is Brown (originally Bryansky in Russia), felt a strong spiritual drive to connect with her ancestors despite having almost no information about them. After returning home, her father unexpectedly sent an email revealing they descend from Reb David Bryansky, author of the Menches David, a revered 19th-century Chassidic work. The speaker and his wife then obtained and read the introduction of this sefer on the evening before Shabbat, where Reb David describes being a simple baker who studied Torah daily, endured great suffering, and came to understand that God sends challenges out of love to help us access deeper spiritual places within ourselves.
The speaker then pivots to teaching a lesson from the Sefas Emes on Parashat Ekev, which begins with the verse 'Ki yomar bilvavcha' (when you say in your heart). The Sefas Emes, based on his grandfather the Ketzos HaChoshen, offers a novel interpretation: rather than suppressing fear and anxiety, we should acknowledge them, sit with them, and have honest internal dialogue about them. Through this process of feeling and conversation with oneself—rather than denial or distraction—a person can arrive at genuine faith and freedom from fear. The speaker illustrates this with personal examples: as a younger man, he tried to suppress anger and simply be kind to those who wronged him, following the Tomer Devorah, but this created inauthenticity. By acknowledging his anger and having internal conversations about it, he could genuinely access deeper capacity for compassion and godliness. He also recounts an incident during the Gaza hostage crisis when a stranger yelled at him in a mall to "get out of Gaza." The speaker felt a shameful, selfish impulse to agree and leave Gaza entirely. Rather than ignoring this impulse, he sat with it, imagined calling the Prime Minister, and through that internal dialogue came to care deeply about the hostages and the soldiers involved.
The speaker emphasizes that today's generation understands feelings and the inner world more than previous generations focused purely on action, and this is an asset when channeled properly through the Sefas Emes' teachings. He argues that bringing one's whole authentic self—including anxiety, sadness, and conflict—to service of God is more powerful than compartmentalization or pretense.
The speaker then addresses the opening and closing themes of the book of Deuteronomy regarding the tribes of Gad and Reuben. At the end of Numbers, they request to stay east of the Jordan because they have much livestock (mikne rav). But at the end of Deuteronomy, the Torah gives a different reason: they wanted to stay near Moses's grave. The Sefas Emes, quoting Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Peshischa, offers a mystical interpretation: mikne (livestock/possession) can also mean kinyan (connection/acquisition), so mikne rav means they had a deep kinyan in the Rebbe (Moses). Rabbi Menachem Mendel was concerned that Chassidim were relying entirely on the Rebbe's light and spiritual power while neglecting their own inner service of God. By reinterpreting the verse, he teaches that Gad and Reuben recognized their own unique spiritual station and mission—their own unique way of serving God given their particular gifts and circumstances—while still being connected to and inspired by Moses. This is the true kinyan in the Rebbe: recognizing that the Rebbe's light helps you discover your own irreplaceable spiritual role.
The speaker concludes by exhorting the listeners that each person has a unique tafkid (purpose/mission) and station of kiddush Hashem that only they can fulfill. He calls for people to avoid simply following the crowd or basking solely in the light of tzaddikim, but rather to discover and commit to their own authentic service of God in their own circumstances, relationships, and opportunities. He ends with blessings for the community and the Jewish people for a year of growth, unity, and bracha (blessing).
About this episode
<p>Rabbi Kalish Shiur in Great Neck</p>
Key Insights
- The speaker discovered that suppressing emotions and forcing oneself to act kindly without acknowledging underlying anger creates inauthenticity and prevents genuine spiritual growth.
- According to the Sefas Emes, when the Torah says 'when you are afraid, do not fear,' it means acknowledging fear rather than denying it, and through honest internal dialogue about that fear, a person can arrive at genuine faith.
- The speaker's wife experienced a spiritual yearning to connect with her ancestors despite having no factual information about them, suggesting that spiritual drives operate beyond rational knowledge.
- Rabbi Menachem Mendel of Peshischa reinterpreted 'mikne rav' (much livestock) as 'kinyan in the Rebbe' (deep connection to the teacher) to emphasize that connection to a tzaddik should help disciples discover their own irreplaceable spiritual missions rather than replace personal service.
- The speaker argues that contemporary Jews are more naturally inclined toward feeling and inner emotional awareness than previous generations focused on action and doing, and this shift creates capacity for deeper spiritual work when properly channeled.
- Through internal conversation about a shameful impulse during the Gaza crisis, the speaker moved from selfish despair to genuine care for hostages and soldiers, demonstrating that processed emotions lead to higher consciousness.
- The Menches David teaches that God sends suffering out of love to help people access deeper places of faith and connection within themselves rather than as punishment.
- The speaker's father unexpectedly discovered and shared information about ancestral lineage the same week his daughter was spiritually yearning for ancestral connection, which the speaker interprets as divine hashgacha (providence).
- The speaker claims that bringing one's entire authentic self—including fear, anxiety, and conflict—to service of God is more spiritually powerful than compartmentalizing or suppressing parts of oneself.
- Each individual Jewish person has a unique, irreplaceable spiritual station and purpose (tafkid) that is tailor-made for their particular circumstances, relationships, and gifts.
- The speaker witnessed that people guided to suppress anxiety rather than process it ended up appearing 'broken,' whereas those who engaged with and dialogued about their anxiety accessed deeper spiritual places.
- Connection to a tzaddik is meant to illuminate and strengthen one's own unique path of serving God rather than create dependency or replacement of personal spiritual responsibility.
Topics
Transcript
Shavua Tov, HaGotavach to everybody here. It's an honor. It's an honor to be part, to be at this gathering. Be'ezus Hashem, we'll learn some Devaray Torah, we'll also, we'll sing a little bit, and we'll get ready for the Eslichus, that Be'ezus Hashem will be at 1250. I want to express appreciation. I don't, it's not my place to talk about the Rav. But I want to speak about the Rav's mishpacha and express. I'm here with a friend. Rev. Gai Shoshan and I are friends. And to speak about the Rav, I'm not going to do. But I can speak about the mishpacha. I want to express that in all our idealisms to bring our families along, that…
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