Un homme ordinaire | Vigdis Morisse - Herrera | TEDxIAEMontpellier

The speaker presents the case of a seemingly ordinary man - educated, working in IT, with a wife, children, house and car - who systematically abuses his wife behind closed doors. This man controls every aspect of his wife's appearance, dictating her makeup, weight, clothing choices, and even her body hair. He isolates her by discouraging her from going out alone and constantly messaging her at work, claiming it's out of love and protection. While he presents himself as a helpful father by taking children to the park, he simultaneously undermines the mother's relationship with them, telling them she doesn't want to play with them. He then demands personal time when he returns home, leaving all domestic responsibilities to his wife. The abuse escalates to sexual violence, where he sends pornographic images during her work hours and forces sexual encounters despite her clear unwillingness. He manipulates her into believing she has problems and needs help, while positioning himself as the patient, understanding husband. To the outside world, he appears as an ideal partner - loving, attentive, and caring. The wife becomes increasingly isolated, depressed, and suicidal, losing her sense of self and believing she might indeed be the problem. The speaker reveals that this man rapes his wife nightly, though he doesn't see himself as a rapist but rather as a frustrated husband demanding his rights. Morris Herrera emphasizes that this represents the reality of sexual violence - not the stranger in a dark alley that people typically imagine, but intimate partner violence occurring in homes across France. She concludes by introducing herself as the founder of Opalcare, an organization working to raise awareness about these 'ordinary men' who commit such acts.