Um agradecimento por dia: Deborah Dubner at TEDxJardins
Deborah Dubner shares her 3+ year practice of posting daily thank you messages on Facebook, which began with circle dancing and evolved into a community movement with hundreds of participants. She explores how gratitude is a transformative practice rather than innate personality trait, and demonstrates its power through a shared exercise with the audience.
Summary
Deborah Dubner presents her personal journey with gratitude, beginning with her facilitation of circle dances since 2007, where moments of connection and thankfulness became meaningful rituals. In 2010, she began posting public thank you messages on Facebook daily, initially feeling embarrassed about sharing gratitude publicly. What started as personal practice gradually inspired close friends to adopt the habit, though she emphasizes that gratitude should be empowering and free, not obligatory. Over three years, she accumulated more than 1,000 thank you posts. At the end of 2013, a significant moment occurred when she discovered a stranger also practicing daily gratitude, which catalyzed a viral response on her Facebook wall. She created a dedicated page called "One Thank You a Day" on January 12th, which quickly attracted around 450 followers without active promotion. Dubner reflects on the power of small gestures, comparing gratitude to a seed that grows into a tree, arguing that individuals have more power to influence their environment than they realize. She addresses common misconceptions about her practice—that she must be happy all the time—clarifying that gratitude is a deliberate choice and behavioral practice, not a personality trait. The page showcases diverse gratitude expressions, from humorous observations (like thanking air conditioning on hot days) to deeply personal stories, demonstrating that gratitude can emerge from ordinary daily life rather than extraordinary events. She challenges the distinction between having a good life because one practices gratitude versus practicing gratitude because life is already good. Finally, Dubner conducts a guided gratitude exercise with the audience, having them reflect on what they're grateful for and share with neighbors, demonstrating the transformative power of communal appreciation.
Key Insights
- Dubner discovered that a stranger she had never met was also practicing daily gratitude, which surprised her and revealed her practice had reach beyond her immediate circle, catalyzing wider community adoption
- She argues that gratitude is not determined by personality structure or innate positivity, but rather is a deliberate choice and practice exercise that anyone can develop through effort and behavioral change
- The timing of her announcement at year-end 2013 coincided with New Year's resolution-making culture, which unexpectedly triggered exponential growth in participation as people saw an alternative to typical resolutions
- She intentionally writes gratitude messages in a generalized voice that aims to resonate with many people rather than personalized messages, because she believes shared human experiences allow listeners to recognize themselves in her words
- Dubner acknowledges uncertainty about whether she practices gratitude because her life is good or whether her life is good because she practices gratitude, presenting this as an open question for reflection
Topics
Transcript
[0:05] I've had a practice since 2010 of posting a thank you message on Facebook every day. It started like this, actually. I'm a facilitator of circle dances, I love it passionately, and I really started practicing gratitude in circle dances since 2007. We always have a moment when we dance, to close our eyes, hold hands, connect with our breath, with our heart, with our body, with [0:36] life, and in those moments we give thanks. This touched me deeply, it always touches me, even today. And with that, I started to really make gratitude a practice through circle dances. They are dances in a circle, holding hands, where we dance to all kinds of music from all cultures…
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