It doesn't look like a pandemic when you put your phone down
A speaker reflects on personal writings from March 2020 during early pandemic lockdowns, sharing observations about the surreal disconnect between normal natural phenomena (sun, birds, sounds) and the pandemic reality that only becomes apparent when checking one's phone.
Summary
The speaker shares journal entries or personal writings from March 2020, the early months of the COVID-19 pandemic. The entries reflect on uncertainty about lockdown duration, with references to LA's mayor suggesting potential lockdowns lasting 2+ months. The writer expresses conflicting emotions—worry about the future mixed with guilt about moments when they aren't actively worried. There's a sense of unreality permeating the observations, despite acknowledgment that major life changes were occurring. The most striking insight from these writings is the observation that the pandemic doesn't visually manifest in the everyday natural world; when one puts their phone down and stops consuming pandemic-related news and information, normal life continues—the sun shines, birds sing, dogs bark, and people talk from their homes. This creates a cognitive dissonance where the external environment appears unchanged while internal anxiety and awareness of crisis persist. The speaker reflects on reading these entries a few years later, finding them strange and poignant in retrospect.
Key Insights
- The writer felt conflicted between worrying about the pandemic and feeling guilty when not actively worried about it
- The writer experienced a sense of unreality about the pandemic despite knowing major changes were happening
- When disconnecting from phones and news, the natural world appears completely unchanged by the pandemic, creating a disconnect between perceived reality and actual experience
- Days felt subjectively longer when experienced from inside during lockdown
- These personal reflections from March 2020 now read as particularly strange and poignant when revisited years later
Topics
Transcript
[0:00] Check this one out. This is trippy. Cuz this was a time when I was writing a lot. So >> Okay. >> Uh I was just like this past week had me looking back on this being like this is weird to read. Uh The mayor of LA said we might be on lockdown for 2 months, maybe more. I wonder if anything will be normal ever again. I wonder when I'll forget about all this and be with a crowd and not think this is a weird feeling. Days seem a lot longer from inside. I feel stupid whenever I get worried and guilty whenever I'm not. In so many ways this whole thing still doesn't feel real.…
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