If documentaries are movies, then pie is cake

The transcript captures a fast-paced, comedic dinner conversation where participants debate absurd food categorization questions, framed by the title's premise: 'if documentaries are movies, then pie is cake.'

The first major debate centers on whether pie is more closely related to pastry, cake, or cobbler. One participant argues that pie is closer to pastry because its crust is made from pastry dough, while another pushes back, claiming pastry is defined by being food 'on the go.' A third voice dismisses the pastry comparison entirely, saying pie only uses pastry dough but isn't truly a pastry.

The conversation then spirals into whether cobbler is related to pudding. One participant controversially claims cobbler and pudding are 'cousins,' arguing that cobbler's base is 'mush' and that a cream pie is essentially 'pudding with a top.' This triggers strong pushback, though some partial agreement emerges around cream pies being closer to mousse or pudding. The group also debates utensil usage — asserting cobbler is a 'spoon' food, cake is a 'fork' food, and pie is a 'spork' food.

Finally, the documentary-vs-movie debate is briefly touched on. One participant tries to introduce subcategories like 'docu-series,' but Angela shuts this down, insisting documentaries are simply movies. The group defers to Angela's authority, with someone noting 'we are under her law right now.'