The Psychology of Youth Mental Health | Ross Szabo
Ross Szabo, a mental health education expert, discusses his personal journey through bipolar disorder and suicide attempts, and explains how he's creating systemic change by teaching mental health and healthy relationships curricula to students from 6th-12th grade. He emphasizes that mental health needs clear definitions and practical coping skills—not just awareness—and that understanding attachment styles, conflict resolution, and emotional vocabulary are foundational life skills often missing from education.
Summary
Ross Szabo shares his origin story growing up in northeastern Pennsylvania in a family with severe mental health disorders and addiction, visiting his brother in a psychiatric ward at age 11 when his brother experienced a bipolar break, and being diagnosed with bipolar disorder himself at age 16. He describes the symptoms of mania—not sleeping for days, excessive energy, racing thoughts at 7-8 per minute—followed by crashes into severe depression, which he initially coped with through binge drinking starting at age 12. Despite appearing as the perfect student (president of his class, varsity basketball player, high GPA), he attempted suicide in his senior year after months of crippling depression. This "behind happy faces" phenomenon is central to his mission.
Szabo emphasizes that mental health has become a confused concept, lumped into luxury spa treatments or homelessness, when it should be defined plainly as how you address different challenges in your life—similar to physical health. The current crisis shows suicide rates up 60% since social media became prevalent, with 41,000-42,000 Americans dying by suicide annually. However, he notes the data is mixed and gender-differentiated: young women are four times more likely to attempt suicide, while young men are four times more likely to die by suicide (due to more violent methods). Young women tend to internalize emotions, leading to higher diagnosed rates of depression and anxiety, while young men externalize through anger and frustration but face greater stigma for discussing feelings.
The core of his work at Geffen Academy at UCLA involves creating the only program in the country where students learn about mental health and healthy relationships every single week from grades 6-12. He argues that parents often focus heavily on academic preparation while neglecting the interpersonal skills—roommate conflict, dating, managing challenges—that actually determine college success. His curriculum covers self-defining memories (creating timelines of core childhood memories above and below an imaginary line), coping mechanisms, attachment theory, conflict resolution styles (competing, problem-solving, compromising, avoiding, accommodating), and the difference between independent, interdependent, and codependent relationships.
Szabo stresses that building emotional vocabulary is foundational—the more words people have for their feelings, the better their mental health. He recommends apps like "How We Feel" that offer 70 emotion options daily. He also discusses neuroscience-based coping versus emotion-based coping, arguing that adolescents grasp behavioral patterns better through neuroscience (understanding that the longer you practice something, the better you get at it) before diving into emotional processing. Personal coping requires structure, boundaries, and typically involves another person—not a linear journey but rather a series of mechanisms.
On parenting, Szabo advises that when home, parents should be authentically present, even for short periods, rather than distracted or overstimulated. He discusses attachment styles: secure attachment (emotional needs met, ~50% of people), anxious-preoccupied (inconsistent parental response), avoidant (emotional needs never met), and disorganized (emotional needs met with threats or abuse). His own avoidant attachment made him appear super-independent but created problems in relationships by defaulting to "everything's fine" when nothing was.
On college preparation, he emphasizes that parents should have honest conversations about realistic threats their kids will face—drugs, alcohol, roommate conflicts, dating—before they arrive on campus. He notes that UCLA's 55 counselors serve a student population where most mental health issues aren't diagnosable disorders but rather skill deficits around basic life navigation. On fraternities and sororities, data shows better mental health outcomes for members due to belonging, but hazing remains a serious concern, ranging from team-building activities to extremely traumatic rituals.
Regarding workplace mental health, Szabo argues leaders must treat it with the same language clarity as any professional field—not therapeutically, but as identification and normalization. He distinguishes between enabling (accepting someone can't meet benchmarks) and empowering (trusting they can meet benchmarks while working through challenges). He also warns that the manosphere and "looks maxing" movements fill a vacuum where young men lack meaningful emotional support and male role models in education.
Szabo's daily practices include a 30-minute tech-free morning to connect with how he feels, meal prepping to control nutrition, and maintaining boundaries. He emphasizes that vulnerability isn't trauma-dumping but sharing one's past with openness to growth and specific requests for support. His vision is mental health education everywhere, and he credits Vygotsky's concept of scaffolding—meeting people where they are and building bridges to different places—as foundational to his educational psychology approach.
About this episode
<p><strong>What if the kids who look like they’re doing just fine on the outside are quietly struggling to make sense of what’s happening on the inside?</strong></p><p>Ross Szabo is one of the leading voices in youth mental health education: founding Wellness Director at Geffen Academy at UCLA, founder of the Human Power Project, co-author of <em>Behind Happy Faces</em>, and author of <em>A Kids Book About Anxiety</em>. His story starts long before the titles. Born into a family with severe mental health disorders and addiction, Ross was 11 when he visited his older brother in a psychiatric ward, was diagnosed with bipolar disorder himself at 16, and coped with drinking that began at age 12. In his senior year of high school, after months of crippling depression, he attempted to take his own life… and this occurred while serving as class president, playing varsity basketball, and carrying a high GPA. On the outside, everything looked fine. The inside was a different story. That distance between the outside and the inside became the through line of his life’s work.</p><p>The idea Ross has organized his career around sounds simple: treat mental health the same way we treat physical health. That means a clear definition, a shared language, and trainable skills. His definition is a helpful place to start… mental health is not about having a problem, it’s how you address the different challenges in your life. At Geffen Academy, he built what he describes as the only program in the country where students learn about mental health and healthy relationships once a week, every week, from grade six through grade 12, timed to the second largest period of brain growth, which happens between the ages of 12 to 25. His graduates report feeling far more prepared for college than their peers, especially in the interpersonal sense: living with new roommates, managing relationships, and knowing how to ask for support.</p><p>Ross and Mike walk through how mapping the self-defining memories that shaped you helps build coping mechanisms the way athletes build skills (the more consistently you do something, the better you get at it). And they discuss how expanding your emotional vocabulary improves your mental health. Ross and Mike dive into the difference between vulnerability and trauma dumping, how the crisis shows up differently in young men and young women, why modeling beats lecturing at home, and what a shared language for mental health could unlock in families, schools, and businesses.</p><p><strong>In this conversation, we explore:</strong></p><ul><li>Why so many young people look fine on the outside while struggling on the inside</li><li>A clear, working definition of mental health, and why most of us don’t have one</li><li>The difference between feeling nervous and having anxiety</li><li>Why the more words you have for your feelings, the better your mental health</li><li>The neuroscience of coping, and how to actually rewire a habit</li><li>How the youth mental health crisis shows up differently in young men and young women</li><li>What parents overlook when preparing kids for college</li><li>Why every family, team, and business needs a shared language for mental health</li></ul><p><br /></p><p>Ross's work is an invitation to care for the mind with the same clarity we bring to the body. And if you're raising, teaching, or leading young people, this conversation offers the language and the skills to close the gap between the outside and the inside.</p><p><strong>Links & Resources</strong></p><p><strong>Subscribe</strong> to our Youtube Channel for more conversations at the intersection of high performance, leadership, and wellbeing: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/c/FindingMastery" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/c/FindingMastery</a></p><p><strong>Get exclusive</strong> discounts and support our amazing sponsors!</p><p><strong>Go to: </strong><a href="https://findingmastery.com/sponsors/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://findingmastery.com/sponsors/</a></p><p><strong>Subscribe</strong> to the Finding Mastery newsletter for weekly high performance insights: <a href="https://www.findingmastery.com/newsletter" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.findingmastery.com/newsletter</a></p><p><strong>Download</strong> Dr. Mike’s Morning Mindset Routine: <a href="https://www.findingmastery.com/morningmindset" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">findingmastery.com/morningmindset</a></p><p><strong>Follow</strong> on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/findingmastery" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">YouTube</a>, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/findingmastery/?hl=en" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichaelgervais/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">LinkedIn</a>, and <a href="https://x.com/michaelgervais" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">X</a></p><p><strong>Ross Szabo’s Books: </strong><em>Behind Happy Faces</em> (co-authored) and <em>A Kids Book About Anxiety</em></p><p>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.</p>
Key Insights
- Szabo argues that mental health has become a confused concept in society, interpreted as either luxury wellness or homelessness, when it should be plainly defined as how you address different challenges in your life.
- He claims that suicide rates have increased 60% since social media became prevalent, with approximately 41,000-42,000 Americans dying by suicide annually, making it a universal crisis affecting both youth and adults.
- Szabo contends that young women are four times more likely to attempt suicide while young men are four times more likely to die by suicide, a difference explained by men using more violent methods and facing greater stigma for discussing feelings.
- He argues that the manosphere and looks-maxing movements fill a vacuum created by young men lacking meaningful emotional support, adult male role models in education, and language to discuss their feelings.
- Szabo asserts that the longest you practice a coping mechanism, the better you become at it, meaning that adolescents who start drinking or adopting avoidant patterns develop deeper neural pathways that become harder to change without intentional rewiring.
- He contends that parents often prioritize academic college preparation over teaching interpersonal skills—roommate conflict resolution, dating, basic life navigation—which are actually the biggest predictors of college success.
- Szabo claims that the most important factor in improving mental health is increasing emotional vocabulary, and that naming specific emotions (beyond just "anxious" or "depressed") activates the cortex and reduces the intensity of emotional states.
- He argues that secure attachment exists in only 50% of the population, meaning most people lack the foundational emotional security needed to navigate adult relationships and challenges effectively.
- Szabo contends that vulnerability is not simply sharing trauma but rather sharing one's past while expressing openness to growth and specifically asking for the support one needs.
- He claims that shared language around mental health in organizations (not therapeutic language, but identification language) is as critical to business success as the professional language used in law, tech, or finance.
- Szabo argues that understanding one's self-defining memories and creating a timeline of meaningful events and hardships helps individuals recognize patterns and prepares them to avoid repeating relationship and behavioral mistakes.
- He contends that the distinction between empowering and enabling is central to both parenting and workplace leadership—empowering means trusting someone can meet benchmarks while working through challenges, while enabling means accepting they cannot.
Topics
Transcript
Finding Mastery is brought to you by Momentus. There's a principle that the team at Momentus uses that has stuck with me, the relentless pursuit of better. Creatine is a good window into what they mean by it. Creatine is one of the most studied supplements in the world. The benefits are reasonably well-established, strength, power, recovery, and increasingly what it does for the brain. It's been found to support brain energy metabolism and easing mental fatigue. So this is something a lot of people do take every day. And when you take something on a regular basis, what's in it, what's not, and how consistently it's made all start to add up. That's the part that Momentus obsessed over.…
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