The Psychology of Storytelling | IN-Q
IN-Q, an Emmy-nominated poet and songwriter, discusses how poetry and storytelling serve as tools for self-discovery and authentic expression. He shares insights on happiness as a practiced awareness, vulnerability as strength, and creating spaces where people can explore their deepest truths without judgment.
Summary
IN-Q (Adam Nile Gottbetter) sits down with host Mike Gervais to explore the transformative power of storytelling and poetry. The conversation begins with IN-Q describing a 90-minute workshop he led for the Finding Mastery team, which created an environment for vulnerability and authentic connection through shared stories. He explains that happiness is not a destination but a range that requires conscious practice and awareness, countering society's narrative that happiness is something to gain externally.
IN-Q traces his journey from a tumultuous childhood in Santa Monica—raised by a single mother and not meeting his father until age 15—to finding his voice through freestyling, which he describes as a form of meditation and empowerment. He discusses his evolution from pursuing rap stardom to discovering spoken word poetry at the Poetry Lounge in Los Angeles, which became his college and community. Despite early professional success as a songwriter (co-writing hits for Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, and others), he views poetry as his primary artistic pursuit.
Gervais shares his own origin story of imposter syndrome and the importance of standing up for one's authentic self, even in hostile environments—illustrated through his experience with a dismissive hockey coach early in his career. Both men discuss the chip on their shoulders: IN-Q's chip from his absent father and societal messaging, Gervais's from a narrative that he wasn't intelligent enough.
IN-Q outlines his methodology for using poetry as a tool for self-discovery: (1) understand that poetry is a form of art, not just journaling; (2) choose subjects that are moving and meaningful—things you wouldn't discuss casually at a dinner party; (3) prioritize honesty and authenticity over perfection, knowing that real work creates greatness. He emphasizes that everyone deserves to be seen, heard, respected, and celebrated, not just professional artists.
The conversation explores the darker side of IN-Q's work—the tendency to over-analyze one's life, becoming trapped in recycled traumas, and the potential to make others uncomfortable through persistent truth-telling. IN-Q reflects on learning to write about solutions rather than problems, and the importance of balance in self-examination versus acceptance.
IN-Q shares a powerful anecdote about witnessing a one-armed Vons employee whistling while collecting shopping carts, which shifted his perspective on gratitude and complaint. This observation led to a poem exploring how perspective shapes reality, and how genius and insanity are separated only by one's interpretive lens.
Both men discuss the importance of daily choice and conscious recommitment—whether to one's art, relationships, or identity. IN-Q emphasizes intentionally re-choosing his role as a poet each day to remain in a place of power and discovery rather than becoming imprisoned by past success. Gervais relates this to his choice to love his wife anew each day, informed by his mother's teaching that love requires daily commitment despite change and growth.
The episode concludes with IN-Q performing his poem about happiness and the shopping cart collector, which moves Gervais profoundly. IN-Q's work emphasizes that awareness is a conscious act, happiness is practiced, and the miraculous nature of each present moment is what truly matters.
About this episode
<p><em>“…the stories that we tell ourselves and other people become our lives.”</em></p><p>— <em>IN-Q</em></p><p><strong>This is a conversation about the story you are living inside, about creativity as a practice rather than a talent, and about why being witnessed helps us release what we might otherwise carry alone.</strong></p><p>Before this conversation started, IN-Q walked the entire Finding Mastery team through a poetry workshop. Each person wrote about a personal experience with risk that changed the direction of their life, then read it out loud to the room. Mike opens this episode saying he has never started a podcast feeling the way he felt coming out of it.</p><p>IN-Q is a spoken word artist, two-time Emmy-nominated lyricist, multi-platinum songwriter, keynote speaker, and bestselling author of Inquire Within. He has written songs with Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, and Aloe Blacc, and he was one of the original members of Da Poetry Lounge in Los Angeles, the open mic he calls church without religion.</p><p>IN-Q and Mike get into the three guidelines he gives people before they write, and the night he read his old breakup poems and realized every one of them applied to the new breakup.</p><p>He also describes giving himself the room every morning to decide not to be a poet. Choosing it again each day – instead of waking up already being one – keeps the work from turning into a life he inherited from a version of himself that has already faded away.</p><p>Both of them tell stories about an old chip on the shoulder, and the two trace back to a similar place. The chip became fuel. IN-Q calls it unhealthy fuel, and describes chipping away at it now, trying to turn it into a sculpture.</p><p>Change your story, change your life, is how he puts it. He also tells you exactly where to start.</p><p>Enjoy the conversation.</p><p>____________________________________________________________________________</p><p><strong>Links & Resources</strong></p><p><strong>IN-Q’s Website: </strong><a href="https://www.in-q.com" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">in-q.com</a></p><p><strong>IN-Q’s Books: </strong><em>Inquire Within, The Never Ending Now Poetry Journal</em></p><p><strong>IN-Q’s Album: </strong><em>The Never Ending Now</em> (featuring Isabella Turso)</p><p><strong>IN-Q’s Poetry Special: </strong><em>IN-Q – Live at the Ace Theatre</em>, streaming on Amazon Prime Video</p><p><strong>IN-Q’s Poetry Workshops and Retreats: </strong><a href="https://www.in-q.com/poetry-workshops" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">in-q.com/poetry-workshops</a></p><p><strong>Subscribe</strong> to our Youtube Channel for more conversations at the intersection of high performance, leadership, and wellbeing: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/c/FindingMastery" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/c/FindingMastery</a></p><p><strong>Get exclusive</strong> discounts and support our amazing sponsors!</p><p><strong>Go to: </strong><a href="https://findingmastery.com/sponsors/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://findingmastery.com/sponsors/</a></p><p><strong>Subscribe</strong> to the Finding Mastery newsletter for weekly high performance insights: <a href="https://www.findingmastery.com/newsletter" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.findingmastery.com/newsletter</a></p><p><strong>Download</strong> Dr. Mike’s Morning Mindset Routine: <a href="https://www.findingmastery.com/morningmindset" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://www.findingmastery.com/morningmindset</a></p><p><strong>Follow</strong> on <a href="https://www.youtube.com/findingmastery" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">YouTube</a>, <a href="https://www.instagram.com/findingmastery/?hl=en" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">Instagram</a>, <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/in/drmichaelgervais/" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">LinkedIn</a>, and <a href="https://x.com/michaelgervais" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">X</a></p><p>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.</p>
Key Insights
- IN-Q argues that society has taught people to seek happiness outside themselves through external gains and attachments, perpetuating pain, when happiness is actually an internal practice requiring conscious awareness.
- IN-Q claims that freestyling served as his first meditation because the demand to think of the next line kept him fully present in the moment, similar to rock climbing where missing a hold means falling.
- IN-Q states that he evolved from being interested primarily in his own story to being fascinated by other people's stories, using his art as a vehicle to help others remove obstacles to truth-telling.
- IN-Q argues that leaving all art to professionals robs ordinary people of the opportunity to express themselves and alchemize trapped energy within them.
- IN-Q contends that when writing poetry, the critical shift is separating oneself from the story through artistic creation rather than journaling, and this separation is where alchemy and healing occur.
- IN-Q reflects that he can dig into his life too much through his art, repeatedly excavating and reburying trauma unnecessarily, and that people must learn to move forward while still processing their experiences.
- IN-Q explains that his tendency to police truth and call out arrogance in others, while well-intentioned, can create unnecessary enemies and harm rather than help his team and family.
- Gervais observes that IN-Q's daily practice of re-choosing his identity as a poet—rather than being collapsed into it—keeps him in discovery mode and prevents him from becoming trapped by past success and others' perceptions.
Topics
Transcript
The main problem is society has taught us that our happiness is something we can gain, something we can claim, something we attach to our name so we distract from our shame and search for happiness outside ourselves, perpetuating pain. But happiness is not a place. It's not a destination on the map. There's nothing that's outside of you that's going to show you where you're at. Awareness is a conscious act. My happiness is not an accident. I practiced it. NQ is an Emmy-nominated poet, multi-platinum songwriter. With songs written with artists like Selena Gomez, Miley Cyrus, Aloe Blacc. And he was named to Oprah Winfrey's super soul list of the world's most influential thought leaders. We leave all…
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