Olivia Wilde: Dating, Double Standards & Dealing with Scrutiny

Olivia Wilde appears on Call Her Daddy to promote her new film 'The Invite,' a relationship drama she directed that features Esther Perel as a consultant and Penelope Cruz in a role modeled after Perel herself. Alex Cooper and Wilde bond over their shared admiration for Perel's work, with Wilde revealing that Perel was actually her therapist years ago and that her core philosophy — love as a verb requiring active engagement — deeply shaped the film's themes. The movie explores how couples drift apart through passive-aggressive non-communication, loss of desire, and the entitlement that can replace active loving in long-term relationships.

Wilde discusses her unconventional upbringing with journalist parents who were war correspondents, crediting her mother in particular for modeling what it means to be an independent, ambitious woman in a male-dominated field. She describes initially resenting her mother for not being a 'normal mom,' but later deeply appreciating the example she set about resilience, pushing through bias, and not entertaining insecurity. This foundation shaped Wilde's own approach to her career and her comfort with taking up space.

The conversation traces Wilde's early career, including her iconic roles on The OC as Alex Kelly — one of early TV's first mainstream bisexual female characters — and on House as 'Thirteen.' She recounts living on a school bus in Venice when she joined The OC, having no idea of the show's cultural magnitude. She also candidly discusses getting married at 19 at Burning Man, describing it as a characteristically spontaneous act of rebellion, and being a 25-year-old divorcee shortly after.

Wilde speaks extensively about the scrutiny she faced during the promotion of 'Don't Worry Darling,' describing it as a period of total disconnection from the fictional persona the tabloids constructed about her. She details the manufactured narratives, the disproportionate public pummeling, the 'spit gate' incident, and most significantly, being served legal papers on stage at CinemaCon — an experience she only recently feels able to discuss with some distance. She reflects that her instinct to project strength and be 'Teflon' during that period may have backfired, and that vulnerability would have been more authentic and effective.

The double standards applied to her as a mother and as an older woman dating a younger, famous man are examined in depth. Wilde notes that when her ex was photographed on a beach with a girlfriend on Thanksgiving while she had the children, the press celebrated him, whereas the same behavior from her would have been used as evidence of abandonment. She also discusses how American culture desexualizes mothers in a way that French culture does not, and how society expected her to retreat into asexual invisibility following her separation.

On her transition to directing, Wilde discusses how Book Smart transformed her career by giving her value rooted in her ideas rather than her appearance, and how Greta Gerwig's success blazed a path for female directors. She argues that the more experience a woman gains as a director, the more valuable she becomes — the inverse of the actress's situation. She also talks about how motherhood made her a better director by teaching her to remain calm under pressure and to be a more effective communicator and leader.

The episode closes with Wilde reflecting on her period of public withdrawal over the past four years, describing it as intentional and therapeutic — a time to do 'a shit ton of therapy,' rebuild herself, and find her roots again. She credits Pamela Anderson with the advice that 'the most rebellious thing you can do is stay soft,' which Wilde describes as the most important lesson she's taken from everything she endured.