Alanis Morissette: Anger, Attachment, & Postpartum

Alex Cooper interviews Alanis Morissette about her iconic career spanning decades. Morissette explains how she started writing songs at nine, created her own record label at eleven, and released Jagged Little Pill at twenty-one, selling 33 million copies and winning five Grammys. She discusses the male-dominated spaces she navigated as a young artist, feeling overwhelmed by contracts she didn't understand, and developing survival strategies centered on focusing on others rather than herself.

A significant portion of the conversation addresses the industry's exploitation of young women, particularly how men positioned themselves as mentors while exhibiting predatory behavior, using phrases like "mature for your age" to justify inappropriate conduct. Morissette explains how she lacked the language and framework to identify these dynamics as abuse, gaslighting, or misogyny at the time. She emphasizes that anger and rage are natural responses to patriarchal systems and that women's invisibility within these structures is systemic.

The discussion shifts to her songwriting philosophy, explaining her decision to release "You Ought to Know" as the lead single despite industry pressure. She deliberately chose anger as the opening statement, wanting women to feel permission to express complex emotions beyond the reductive labels assigned to them. She describes songwriting as a form of channeling and vulnerability, noting she initially didn't want her personal feelings exposed but came to see the value in sharing her authentic experiences.

Regarding her personal life, Morissette discusses attachment styles and childhood experiences. She describes being raised in narcissism, where her existence primarily served as "supply" for others' narcissistic needs, leaving her with no developed sense of self. This created a survival strategy of other-focus that persisted into adulthood, manifesting in codependent relationships with narcissistic partners. She explains how she was attracted to unavailable men due to unconscious drives to heal unfinished business, a pattern she eventually broke by deliberately going against her type and marrying her current husband Solyé at age thirty-five.

A major focus is Morissette's experience with postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety across three pregnancies, which she terms "postpartum activity." She describes invasive thoughts, terror, rage, depression, and psychological experiences so severe she "dipped into psychosis" while touring during COVID. She emphasizes the lack of adequate support and societal understanding, noting that she waited progressively less time seeking help with each pregnancy—initially waiting fourteen months, then eight months, then three days. She discusses the guilt and shame of not experiencing the expected joy of motherhood and the loss of trust from loved ones who questioned her stability.

Moressette advocates for returning to historical models of postpartum care where women are surrounded by community, describing it as honoring "the female endocrine system as a spiritual practice." She highlights how pregnancy receives cultural grace while postpartum mothers are rendered invisible and pressured to immediately resume pre-pregnancy appearance and functionality.

The conversation addresses her public advocacy about postpartum struggles, which she did while still experiencing symptoms. She describes receiving overwhelming responses from women, daughters-in-law, and others who felt less alone upon hearing her speak about it. She emphasizes that naming and sharing these experiences publicly helped normalize what many women silently endure.

Regarding aging and menopause, Morissette describes menopause as a "truth serum" that has granted her freedom to speak directly about patriarchal and misogynistic behavior without filtering. She uses the metaphor of a tree being ripped from the ground with roots everywhere, suggesting menopause upends every aspect of identity, sexuality, finances, and relationships. She notes that with age comes decreased reactivity, more observational capacity, and genuine appreciation for younger generations.

The interview concludes with discussion of her new Los Angeles residency, "Butterfly with a Machete," which integrates music, storytelling, comedy, dance, and movement—embracing her "multitudinousness" after decades of being told to stay in one lane. She's also releasing a holiday album featuring original songs and covers. Throughout, she emphasizes the importance of female friendships, mentorship, and moving toward wholeness rather than sanitized wellness, advocating for bringing all parts of oneself—the messy, complex, angry parts—back online.