Why Hustle Culture Is Failing You - And What to Do Instead | Jenna Kutcher (Fan Fav)
Jenna Kutcher discusses the importance of self-awareness and rest in building an authentic, fulfilling life. She emphasizes that success must be measured by how you feel rather than external achievements, and shares her philosophy of pivoting safely through side hustles while maintaining a strong personal brand rather than chasing money.
Summary
In this episode of Impact Theory, host Tom Billyeu interviews author and podcaster Jenna Kutcher about her book "How Are You Really?" The conversation centers on the critical importance of getting quiet with yourself to understand your true emotional state, rather than defaulting to surface-level responses like "I'm good." Kutcher explains that most people struggle with this because society constantly distracts us, and we've become uncomfortable sitting with our emotions.
Kutcher introduces the concept of needing to "build the muscle" of rest gradually, like a reverse Couch to 5K program, because many high-achievers feel they haven't earned the right to rest. She shares her personal experience with Shavasana (the resting pose in yoga) where she felt undeserving of rest without intense physical exertion, a pattern she had to unlearn.
A major theme is the difference between chasing money and building a brand. Kutcher describes how she pivoted multiple times in her career—from wedding photographer to print shop owner to podcaster—always starting as side hustles with no pressure to monetize immediately. She argues that when you build a brand (the personality behind offers) rather than just a business (the product for sale), you create space for creativity and evolution. She emphasizes that every pivot was done gradually and safely, never burning bridges or jumping without a net.
Kutcher discusses the concept of "golden handcuffs," where people stay in situations—jobs, relationships, lifestyles—because of perceived perks (vacation days, health insurance, status) that they don't actually enjoy. She recounts the story of a college friend who was miserable in her corporate job but stayed for first-class flights and office amenities she rarely used.
The conversation turns to defining success by how it feels rather than by external metrics. Kutcher shares a profound personal moment when a therapist guided her to envision her "most vibrant self" during her struggle with miscarriage and infertility. She imagined herself in jeans and a white linen shirt watching a little girl eat pancakes. Years later, when her daughter was born and she experienced those exact pancake moments, she recognized she was living her vision and could stay present for it.
Billyeu and Kutcher discuss the biological differences in how men and women process emotions, with Kutcher noting that estrogen allows women to sit more comfortably with uncomfortable feelings. They explore the different pressures women face, including social criticism and commentary about their bodies and appearance, which men rarely experience at the same level.
Kutcher addresses the fear many people experience when considering major life changes, like the "Great Resignation." She encourages people leaving jobs they're unhappy in to view this as an opportunity for learning and skill acquisition rather than just escape. She advocates for approaching new endeavors with genuine curiosity, becoming a student again, and not waiting to show up until everything is perfect.
The discussion also covers the importance of having a partner or community who shares your vision and can help cast light on the path when you get lost. Kutcher and her husband Drew have maintained individual visions while building a shared vision, with him becoming a stay-at-home dad—an unconventional choice in the Midwest that required them to continually reinforce their commitment to their chosen path.
Finally, Kutcher discusses how to handle criticism and negative feedback as a public figure. She describes using a metaphor of a stereo dial, where critical voices are passengers in her car but she controls the volume. She distinguishes between criticism (mean-spirited attacks) and commentary (constructive feedback), and consciously chooses which voices to amplify in her mind. She notes that women tend to remember negative comments verbatim while struggling to recall positive ones, due to neurological wiring toward potential threats.
About this episode
<p>This is a fan fav episode. Were you one of the 47 million Americans that voluntarily quit their job in 2021, a massive event now referred to as the Great Resignation? If you didn’t quit, maybe you came close to submitting your resignation and decided not to. The burning question is, what did people move towards after leaving their job? Was it a burn the ships at the shore kind of moment or a hasty emotional move caused by mounting stress in the moment?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>No matter where you are in your career or business, there is one critical question you should be asking yourself. How are you, really?</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Jenna Kutcher has pivoted her career and entrepreneurial moves more than a few times. She’s not a stranger to adversity, stress, disappointment or asking the hard questions. From wedding photography, to podcast host, to helping entrepreneurs grow their email list, Jenna shares her secret sauce to pivoting career moves successfully, and how to align with success in a way that is fulfilling and feels right to you.</p> <p><br /></p> <p>Stop falling into the hustle culture trap and start asking yourself questions that awaken you at your core. Hustle culture isn’t necessarily all-in, burn the ships, forget sleep, your sanity, your rest and recovery. There’s another path and another option to achieving the success you’re after.</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>ORIGINAL AIR DATE: 6-28-22</strong></p> <p><br /></p> <p>Check out Jenna Kutcher's new book, How Are You Really: <a href="https://amzn.to/3O6QLdO" target="_blank">https://amzn.to/3O6QLdO</a></p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>SHOW NOTES:</strong></p> <p>0:00 | Introduction to Jenna Kutcher</p> <p>0:48 | Growing Your Self Awareness</p> <p>6:30 | Rest. Recover. Be More Efficient.</p> <p>11:34 | Vision Your Dream Life & Build It</p> <p>28:47 | How to Pivot Successfully </p> <p>36:24 | Breaking the Golden Handcuffs</p> <p>49:11 | Confidence, Self Love & Acceptance</p> <p>1:00:50 | Dealing With the Critic Echo</p> <p><br /></p> <p><strong>What's up, everybody?</strong> <strong>It's Tom Bilyeu here:</strong></p> <p>If you want my help...</p> <ul> <li>STARTING a business:<a href="https://tombilyeu.com/zero-to-founder?utm_campaign=Podcast%20Offer&utm_source=podca[%E2%80%A6]d%20end%20of%20show&utm_content=podcast%20ad%20end%20of%20show" target="_blank"> </a><a href="https://tombilyeu.com/zero-to-founder?utm_campaign=Podcast%20Offer&utm_source=podca[%E2%80%A6]d%20end%20of%20show&utm_content=podcast%20ad%20end%20of%20show" target="_blank">join me here at ZERO TO FOUNDER</a> </li> <li>SCALING a business:<a href="https://tombilyeu.com/call" target="_blank"><strong> </strong></a><a href="https://tombilyeu.com/call" target="_blank">see if you qualify here.</a> </li> </ul> <p>Get my battle-tested strategies and insights delivered weekly to your inbox:<a href="https://tombilyeu.com/" target="_blank"><strong> </strong></a><a href="https://tombilyeu.com/" target="_blank">sign up here.</a></p> <p>**********************************************************************</p> <p><strong>If you're serious about leveling up your life, I urge you to check out my new podcast,</strong><a href="https://open.spotify.com/show/47VE90Cittmo6TGGFqg2xf" target="_blank"> <strong>Tom Bilyeu’s Mindset Playbook</strong></a> —a goldmine of my most impactful episodes on mindset, business, and health. 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Key Insights
- Kutcher argues that people lose bets with themselves daily by not capturing important information in conversations because the human brain wasn't built to retain 40 hours a week of dense conversation.
- Kutcher claims that most people are struggling to be quiet with themselves and are constantly distracted, preventing them from facing the answers to fundamental questions about their lives.
- Kutcher contends that people need to build rest as a skill gradually, similar to training for a marathon, because many high-achievers feel they must earn the right to rest through intense activity.
- Kutcher asserts that gratitude, when unchecked, can become the very thing keeping people stuck in unfulfilling situations rather than motivating positive change.
- Kutcher argues that building a brand (the personality behind offers) rather than just a business (the product) allows for greater creativity, evolution, and sustainability across career pivots.
- Kutcher claims that every successful pivot she's made started as a side hustle with no pressure to monetize, allowing her to build confidence and ensure the work actually felt good before committing fully.
- Kutcher describes that estrogen enables women to sit more comfortably with uncomfortable emotions, while testosterone may drive men toward changing state or avoiding discomfort.
- Kutcher observes that women tend to remember negative comments about themselves verbatim while struggling to recall positive feedback, due to neurological wiring focused on potential threats.
- Kutcher argues that the world's criticism and feedback should function like a GPS passenger rather than as the driver, with individuals controlling which voices they amplify.
- Kutcher contends that people who leave unfulfilling jobs are finally listening to themselves, but they need to view what follows as skill acquisition bootcamp rather than just escape.
- Kutcher claims that when you envision success with sensory detail and then experience it, you become awake to your life rather than moving through it unconsciously.
- Kutcher asserts that mothers have the power to reframe negative self-perceptions in their children within a 24-hour period through consistent positive messaging, as demonstrated by her daughter kissing her mole after being told it was a special spot.
Topics
Transcript
Right now, I want to talk about a bet you're losing every day. Someone says something important in a meeting, a client drops an offhand comment that matters, a teammate floats a half-formed idea, but you know it's gold, and then you bet yourself the same thing every time. I'll remember that. But nine times out of 10, you lose that bet. Everybody does. Your brain wasn't built to retain 40 hours a week of dense conversation. And the cost isn't just a forgotten detail. It's the follow-up you never make, the promise that you don't keep, the connections that slip through your fingers. And Ploud is built to make sure you win that bet every time. It's an AI-powered…
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