Turning Boys Into Men: Why Young Men Are Lost In Life & How To Become A 1% Man | Justin Waller PT 1
Justin Waller, a steel construction entrepreneur and online personality, discusses the crisis in modern masculinity with Tom Bileu, arguing that men are being weakened by societal forces and lack proper role models. They explore themes of choice, discipline, fulfillment, and the role of social media in distorting male-female dynamics, with particular focus on the importance of young men building strong character through work and brotherhood.
Summary
Tom Bileu opens by introducing the thesis that masculinity as a concept is in crisis and having profound effects on young men today. He notes that while every generation thinks they have it worse, this generation may genuinely be struggling. He brings on Justin Waller, known for sometimes controversial takes on modern masculinity and building a steel construction company from scratch.
Waller argues that social media is a primary culprit in masculinity's decline. He points out that young men working hard in construction, building infrastructure, receive no appreciation or recognition, while a 21-year-old on Instagram making money through cryptocurrency or dropshipping gets celebrated. This creates a motivation problem where traditional hard work goes unappreciated.
Bileu challenges Waller to define the problem more precisely, introducing the concept of what should define a man's worth. Rather than money, women, or cars, Waller argues that a man's fulfillment comes from meeting the expectations he has set for himself—the gap between who he envisions becoming and his reality. He notes that modern economic conditions have made it harder for men to be providers and heads of household, which he identifies as a major issue affecting families.
They discuss how society has shifted away from valuing masculine traits and hard work. Waller contends that men are not being held to exacting standards anymore, and without the immediate threat of survival (lions, war, depression), young men lack the pressure that historically forced them to become capable. Bileu expands this to Nietzsche's observation about God's death in modern society—without religious organizing principles, young men lack a clear North Star and instead latch onto messianic pursuits (climate activism, social justice causes) that become pathologized.
The conversation turns to what makes relationships work. Waller emphasizes that women need to respect and look up to their male partners, and that respect is foundational to romantic love. Bileu counters with neuroscience research on pair bonding, discussing oxytocin and vasopressin, and arguing that the goal should be mutual elevation where both partners make each other better. They debate whether a man must be the "leader" in a relationship dynamic.
Waller transitions to discussing his philosophy on building men. He emphasizes five pillars: physical fitness, communication skills, financial literacy, understanding female nature, and the importance of discipline. He's adamant about not teaching men "game" or manipulation tactics, instead arguing they should become the best version of themselves to naturally attract quality partners. He introduces the "rocking chair test"—maintaining a relationship with his future self and making decisions that would make that older version proud.
They explore the concept of aggression and what role it should play in masculinity. Waller defines a complete man as someone who can "slit a throat and hold a baby in the same day," meaning he must have the full spectrum of emotional and behavioral capabilities. However, he clarifies he's not an advocate for excessive aggression; instead, he believes in being present and direct in difficult conversations without yelling or theatrics. He contrasts his approach with Andrew Tate's more aggressive online persona, saying both have a role but he operates from love and understanding rather than constant confrontation.
Bileu presses on societal decay, arguing that without immediate existential threats, people pursue too many choices and make poor decisions. He discusses the concept of a "messianic moment" that humans need—a sense of mattering and contributing—and argues that when that drive isn't channeled properly, it becomes pathologized. He proposes the North Star should be increasing human flourishing and decreasing suffering at the widest possible scale.
Waller discusses his skepticism about social engineering narratives and agrees that the real problem is simply that modern life is too easy, removing natural selection pressures. He elaborates on the importance of appreciation for men and how this ties into fulfillment.
The conversation shifts dramatically when discussing female sexual autonomy and monogamy. Waller discusses his views on understanding female nature, promiscuity, and the evolutionary basis for different sexual strategies between men and women. He argues it's a double standard that exists due to evolution, not current society—men are biologically driven to have multiple partners while women should theoretically seek commitment. He notes that women making money on OnlyFans is a symptom of weak men not stepping up as leaders.
Bileu challenges this, bringing up concerns about social media, hypergamy, and how modern technology enables destructive impulses. He worries that without ideals to strive toward, society becomes increasingly fragmented.
Waller then addresses his own polygynous arrangements directly. He clarifies he has the discipline to maintain fidelity if he wanted, but doesn't because he genuinely enjoys multiple partners and has come to peace with this. He discusses his college girlfriend, his internal struggle with these desires (comparing it to "coming out of the closet"), and how he eventually accepted his nature rather than fighting it. He emphasizes that his wife is involved and consenting, often helping to find partners together. He defends his position by noting this is what he genuinely wants, not something he's struggling against, and compares it to enjoying pizza rather than lacking discipline.
They debate whether his arrangements are about genuine enjoyment or about exercising power and choice. Waller insists it's the former—he loves women, they add value to his life, and he's honest about his desires. He argues many men feel similarly but won't admit it publicly.
The discussion concludes with Waller's concerns about educated women losing fertility interest and becoming more masculine in nature, arguing they're forced into masculine roles by societal pressure when their natural state would be more submissive and family-oriented. He contends that for women to want to submit and have children with a man, that man must be exceptionally strong and capable to feel safe doing so.
About this episode
<p>By the end of the first part of this 2-part episode, we may ruffle some feathers, BUT you’ll have a much better understanding of WHY so many men are feeling unfulfilled, unhappy, and under-appreciated.</p><p>Justin Waller, the CEO and founder of RedIron, a metal construction company with an unprecedented all-women construction management team, breaks down why social media and social expectations are creating weak men. Justin is acclaimed for his well-articulated discussions on societal norms, masculinity, and why modern men NEED to realize their self worth and establish their value.</p><p>And if you think men are lost because of women, money and cars, think again! We’re digging into the ‘JWaller’s Philosophy’ to explore WHY men have lost their strength, their value, and joy and consider some options for turning this around. </p><p><em>“What makes me happy is working on the man I’m going to become.” -Justin Waller</em></p><p>The central theme of our conversation today revolves around the necessity for men to establish and value their self-worth, aspire for personal fulfillment and learn how to cultivate a wholesome lifestyle.</p><p>Don’t miss this conversation about the discipline, strength and respect for men aspiring for personal fulfillment. If you were ever interested in the ‘Redpill’ or ‘Manosphere’ philosophies, or trying to relate better to the men in your life, this is the episode for you.</p><p><br /></p><p><strong>Follow Justin Waller:</strong></p><p>Website: <a href="https://www.justinwinnwaller.com/" target="_blank">https://www.justinwinnwaller.com/</a> </p><p>Instagram: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/justinwinwaller7/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/justinwinwaller7/</a> </p><p>Twitter: <a href="https://twitter.com/Waller7J" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/Waller7J</a> </p><p>Instagram: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@JWALLER" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@JWALLER</a> </p><p><br /></p><p>SPONSORS:</p><p><a href="mailto:[email protected]" target="_blank">[email protected]</a></p><p><br /></p><p><strong><em>Are You Ready for EXTRA Impact?</em></strong></p><p>If you’re ready to find true fulfillment, strengthen your focus, and ignite your true potential, the Impact Theory subscription was created just for you.</p><p>Want to transform your health, sharpen your mindset, improve your relationship, or conquer the business world? This is your epicenter of greatness. </p><p>This is not for the faint of heart. This is for those who dare to learn obsessively, every day, day after day.</p><p><strong>Subscription Benefits:</strong></p><ul> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li>Unlock the gates to a treasure trove of wisdom from inspiring guests like Andrew Huberman, Mel Robbins, Hal Elrod, Matthew McConaughey, and many, many, more</li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li>New episodes delivered ad-free</li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li>Exclusive access to Tom’s AMAs, keynote speeches, and suggestions from his personal reading list</li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li>You’ll also get access to an<strong> <em>5 additional podcasts</em> </strong>with hundreds of archived Impact Theory episodes, meticulously curated into themed playlists covering health, mindset, business, relationships, and more:</li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li> <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/legendary-mindset/id1683397827?itsct=podcast_box&itscg=30200&ls=1&at=1000l3anZ" target="_blank"><strong>Legendary Mindset</strong></a><strong>:</strong> Mindset & Self-Improvement</li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li> <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/money-mindset/id1683397173?itsct=podcast_box&itscg=30200&ls=1&at=1000l3anZ" target="_blank"><strong>Money Mindset</strong></a><strong>: </strong>Business & Finance</li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li> <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/relationship-theory/id1683229040?itsct=podcast_box&itscg=30200&ls=1&at=1000l3anZ" target="_blank"><strong>Relationship Theory:</strong></a> Relationships</li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li> <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/health-theory/id1683215287?itsct=podcast_box&itscg=30200&ls=1&at=1000l3anZ" target="_blank"><strong>Health Theory</strong></a><strong>: </strong>Mental & Physical Health</li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li> <a href="https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/power-ups/id1683398038?itsct=podcast_box&itscg=30200&ls=1&at=1000l3anZ" target="_blank"><strong>Power Ups:</strong></a> Weekly Doses of Short Motivational Quotes </li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> <li><br /></li> </ul><p>Subscribe on Apple Podcasts: <a href="https://apple.co/3PCvJaz" target="_blank">https://apple.co/3PCvJaz</a></p><p>Subscribe on all other platforms (Google Podcasts, Spotify, Castro, Downcast, Overcast, Pocket Casts, Podcast Addict, Podcast Republic, Podkicker, and more) : <a href="https://impacttheorynetwork.supercast.com/" target="_blank">https://impacttheorynetwork.supercast.com/</a></p><p> </p><p>Learn more about your ad choices. Visit <a href="https://megaphone.fm/adchoices" target="_blank">megaphone.fm/adchoices</a></p><p>See Privacy Policy at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy</a> and California Privacy Notice at <a href="https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info" rel="noopener noreferrer" target="_blank">https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info</a>.</p>
Key Insights
- Waller argues that young men working in construction receive no appreciation while social media personalities are celebrated, creating a fundamental motivation crisis in traditionally valued work
- Waller contends that true male fulfillment comes from the gap between a man's vision of who he wants to become and his actual reality, not from external markers like money or women
- Bileu proposes that the real crisis stems not from intentional social engineering but from making life so comfortable that evolutionary drives to fight, matter, and contribute become misdirected into pathological causes
- Waller claims respect is foundational to romantic love—a woman cannot truly love a man she doesn't respect—making masculine capability and leadership essential to relationship success
- Waller distinguishes between teaching men 'game' and manipulation versus developing genuine character, arguing the latter naturally attracts quality partners without tactics
- Waller defines complete masculinity as the ability to operate across a full spectrum of behaviors—being both capable of violence and tender with a baby—rather than being stuck in aggressive posturing
- Bileu argues that without a unifying North Star like religion or survival threats, people latch onto individual messianic pursuits that become extreme and pathologized in modern society
- Waller claims that educated women today face pressure to be masculine breadwinners when evolutionary psychology suggests they're naturally oriented toward supporting roles and family
- Waller maintains he has significant sexual discipline but chooses not to exercise it monogamously because he genuinely enjoys multiple partners, framing this as authentic preference rather than lack of control
- Bileu suggests that hypergamy and infidelity are primarily consequences of too much choice and lack of social consequences, not fundamental female nature requiring male dominance
- Waller argues that women on OnlyFans and hypergamous behavior represent symptoms of weak men failing to lead, not female nature gone wrong
- Bileu proposes that the only truly universal North Star for decision-making is whether an action increases human flourishing and decreases suffering at the widest possible scale
Topics
Transcript
Every generation thinks that they've got it worse than the one before them and this generation is no different. But this generation really might be in a rough spot. I've got a growing thesis on what I think is happening, especially to men. I think masculinity as a brand, that's probably the right way to think about it, is in crisis and that's having a huge knock-on effect for young men. I've been thinking a lot about this topic and today I'm joined by Justin Waller, one of the people young men today are flocking to for a vision of what it means to be a man. Justin is an experienced entrepreneur who built a steel building construction company from…
Full transcript available for MurmurCast members
Sign Up to AccessMore from Tom Bilyeu's Impact Theory
Putin Threatens NATO, AI Swarms Go Rogue, and the GTA 6 Frenzy Explained | The Tom Bilyeu Show
Tom Bilyeu discusses escalating geopolitical tensions with Russia threatening NATO, the AI industry warning of cyber attack risks, Meta's settlement requiring social media limits for teens, food inflation concerns from supply chain disruptions, and GTA 6's massive cultural impact. He emphasizes how political polarization is eroding civic trust and society's ability to function cooperatively.
Ex-CIA Spy: The Iran War Was China's Trap — And We Walked Right In
Ex-CIA spy Andrew Bustamante analyzes how China strategically exploited the U.S. War on Terror and current Iran conflict to advance its geopolitical position, while the U.S. faces declining global influence amid economic strain, military overextension, and internal political instability. He argues that we're witnessing a shift toward a multipolar world where China's controlled narrative and economic model increasingly appeal to developing nations hedging their allegiances.
From Family Tragedy to Dollar Wars: Lindsay Clancy’s tragic familicide, Canada’s declining economic policies and Authoritarianism in Global Powers like China
Tom Dillew discusses the Lindsay Clancy familicide case and how public empathy has eclipsed accountability, contrasts this with declining Canadian economic policies under Trudeau and Carney, and analyzes geopolitical tensions including CIA visits to Russia and economic sanctions on Iran.
Why a DYING China Is More Dangerous Than a Rising One
A video essay argues that China's demographic collapse and population decline make it more dangerous than a rising China, as the closing window of opportunity may push authoritarian leaders toward military aggression like the 2027 Taiwan invasion target. The discussion explores how the One Child Policy, female education, and birth control have created irreversible population trends affecting not just China but most developed nations.
Deglobalization Dangers, Bond Market Chaos, and Why Canada Is Betting on China
The episode covers multiple geopolitical and economic crises including bond market volatility, US-Canada trade tensions over China relations, Iran sanctions effectiveness, Israel-Syria strikes, and a viral Mark Ruffalo tweet about antisemitism and Israel criticism, while discussing underlying themes of deglobalization, currency collapse dynamics, and the rise of a multipolar world.