Sex Recession: The Dangers Of Modern Dating & Why Nobody Is Having Sex Anymore | Emily Morse
Sex expert Emily Morse discusses the "sex recession" affecting 26% of American adults and explores how cultural messaging, gender dynamics, sexual polarity, and lack of comprehensive sex education are contributing to declining sexual activity and intimacy. She outlines five pillars of sexual intelligence and advocates for reframing sex beyond procreation to emphasize pleasure, connection, and erotic experience.
Summary
Tom Bilyeu and Emily Morse examine the alarming statistic that 26% of American adults had no sex in 2021, with particular concern about young people and potential population decline (citing 46% of Japanese youth despising sexual contact). They explore how cultural shifts—particularly the tension between women's liberation and sexual polarity—may be disrupting attraction and desire dynamics.
Morse explains that sexual polarity requires one person to lead and one to follow, using magnetic polarity as an analogy. She argues that as women increasingly adopt masculine energy (becoming "boss bitches" in professional contexts), and men are discouraged from asserting masculine sexuality due to #MeToo and anti-toxicity messaging, the complementary energy needed for sexual attraction diminishes. This doesn't mean women shouldn't be empowered; rather, couples need to consciously shift between different energetic states depending on context—professional collaboration versus intimate connection.
Bilyeu introduces the concept of hypergamy (women's tendency to date across or up socioeconomically), noting that as women's earning power increases, the pool of men they find attractive may narrow, raising the bar for male partners. Morse acknowledges this phenomenon but emphasizes that sex and attraction require understanding the brain's role and the differences between male and female sexuality.
They discuss how sex education differs dramatically between countries. The Netherlands teaches sex education that includes pleasure, joy, and emotional intelligence alongside safety, while most American states either don't require medically accurate sex education or avoid teaching it altogether. This creates a dangerous combination: youth exposed to pornography without proper education learn about sex from content created by men for men, often depicting unrealistic and potentially harmful scenarios.
Morse outlines five pillars of sexual intelligence: (1) embodiment—being present in your body during sex; (2) health—physical and mental wellness; (3) self-acceptance—confidence in one's body; (4) self-knowledge—understanding what turns you on; and (5) collaboration—communication with partners about desires and needs. She emphasizes that 98% of couples don't have healthy conversations about sex.
They discuss the slow cooker versus frying pan metaphor: men typically experience spontaneous desire (see attraction, get aroused), while women experience responsive desire (require buildup through touch, conversation, safety, and various environmental and emotional factors). She stresses that for women, orgasm requires trust, proper arousal, and often clitoral stimulation (not penetration), as only 20% of women orgasm from penetration alone.
Morse challenges the focus on penis size, noting that girth and attentiveness matter more, and that she hears more complaints about partners being too large than too small. She also discusses how porn, without proper sex education, creates unrealistic expectations and can contribute to erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety in young men.
They explore how shame around sexuality—often rooted in religious upbringing or early childhood messaging—persists into adulthood and inhibits sexual expression and satisfaction. Morse advocates for destigmatizing masturbation, naming genitalia without shame, and teaching consent from early childhood as done in the Netherlands.
Bilyeu raises concerns about AI, sex robots, and virtual reality porn, noting these technologies could further disconnect people from real human intimacy. Morse acknowledges potential benefits for disabled individuals but agrees that human connection cannot be truly replicated.
About this episode
<p>Emily Morse is the sex expert and host of the wildly popular podcast, Sex with Emily. If talking about sex is super uncomfortable and embarrassing for you, or if you can’t talk about it enough, Emily is the go to sex therapist and sex educator of this generation. Removing the shame of sex and giving people the information they need to have consensual, healthy, fulfilling sexual experiences with themselves and others is what she does best.</p><p>Emily breaks down the untold truth about sex and exposes the unsexy lies we’re told like a pro:</p><ul> <li>Why we’re in a sex recession</li> <li>Messaging around sex that makes it shameful and dirty</li> <li>How to re-educate yourself about sex, pleasure, and the power dynamic of sex between men and women</li> <li>Myths about human sexuality told for centuries</li> <li>Fantasies men have that sex is all about size and penetration</li> <li>The “rubik’s cube” type complexity of female sexuality that will even shock women </li> </ul><p>We want you to prioritize having a healthy sex life, deeper intimacy, and stronger connections with others and yourself.</p><p><em>“If we're talking about the reasons why there hasn't been as much sex happening is because we're not understanding that you need to create that dynamic to create attraction and arousal." -Emily Morse</em></p><p>Check out Smart Sex by Emily Morse here: <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Sex-Boost-Your-Pleasure/dp/0778387100" target="_blank">https://www.amazon.com/Smart-Sex-Boost-Your-Pleasure/dp/0778387100</a> </p><p><br /></p><p><strong>Follow Emily Morse:</strong></p><p><strong>Website</strong>: <a href="https://sexwithemily.com/" target="_blank">https://sexwithemily.com/</a> </p><p><strong>YouTube</strong>: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/sexwithemily" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/sexwithemily</a> </p><p><strong>Instagram</strong>: <a href="https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/" target="_blank">https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/</a> </p><p><strong>Facebook</strong>: <a href="https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily" target="_blank">https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily</a> </p><p><strong>Twitter</strong>: <a href="https://twitter.com/SexWithEmily" target="_blank">https://twitter.com/SexWithEmily</a></p><p><br /></p><p>SPONSORS:</p><p>Get 5 free AG1 Travel Packs and a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D with your first purchase at <a href="https://bit.ly/AG1Impact" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/AG1Impact</a>.</p><p>Get $300 into your brokerage account when you invest $5k within your first 90 days by going to <a href="https://bit.ly/FacetImpact" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/FacetImpact</a>.</p><p>Head to <a href="http://www.insidetracker.com/" target="_blank">www.insidetracker.com</a> and use code “IMPACTTHEORY” to get 20% off!</p><p>Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at <a href="https://bit.ly/ShopifyImpact" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/ShopifyImpact</a>.</p><p><br /></p><p><strong><em>Are You Ready for EXTRA Impact?</em></strong></p><p>If you’re ready to find true fulfillment, strengthen your focus, and ignite your true potential, the Impact Theory subscription was created just for you.</p><p>Want to transform your health, sharpen your mindset, improve your relationship, or conquer the business world? 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Key Insights
- Emily Morse argues that sexual polarity—one partner leading while the other follows—is necessary for attraction and arousal, similar to how opposite poles of a magnet attract, and that when both partners are in the same energetic state (both masculine or both feminine), sexual desire diminishes.
- Morse claims that 98% of couples do not have healthy conversations about sex, which contributes to the sex recession because partners cannot communicate their needs, desires, and boundaries.
- Only 17-20 U.S. states require sex education to be medically accurate, and most states either avoid teaching it or teach it inaccurately, creating a gap where young people learn about sex primarily from pornography without proper education.
- Morse explains that women experience responsive desire (requiring buildup through touch, conversation, and emotional safety) while men typically experience spontaneous desire (automatic arousal upon attraction), and that approximately 80% of women require clitoral stimulation for orgasm, not penetration.
- Tom Bilyeu theorizes that as women become more economically independent and adopt masculine professional energy, they narrow the dating pool through hypergamy (preferring partners of equal or higher status), which raises the bar for men who are simultaneously discouraged from asserting masculine sexuality.
- Morse argues that early childhood messages about genitalia being shameful or dirty—such as parents discouraging toddlers from touching themselves—create lasting sexual dysfunction and shame that persists into adulthood.
- The Netherlands is cited as one of the few countries where sex education includes discussions of pleasure, joy, orgasm, and arousal alongside safety information, resulting in better sexual health outcomes than countries using fear-based messaging.
- Morse states that pornography without accompanying sex education is dangerous because it depicts unrealistic scenarios (often painful or aggressive acts) as normal, leading young men to replicate porn performance in real sexual encounters and causing erectile dysfunction and performance anxiety.
- Bilyeu identifies a prediction that the sex recession stems from people treating potential partners as blank slates rather than recognizing sex differences in the brain driven by hormones, which he argues is fundamental to understanding attraction.
- Morse explains that sexual arousal in women is multi-factorial, involving physical environment (temperature, cleanliness), emotional state (unresolved resentment), health factors (diet, exercise), and psychological safety, such that a partner can perform all the right physical moves but arousal won't occur if other pillars aren't aligned.
- Morse argues that expanding the definition of sex beyond penetration to include eroticism, touch, and pleasure would reduce the orgasm gap and increase satisfaction, particularly for women who silently suffer through unsatisfying sexual experiences.
- Both speakers express concern that AI sex robots and virtual reality pornography, combined with lack of sex education and real human connection, could create a permanent disconnect from intimate human sexuality, particularly for the next generation.
Topics
Transcript
What's up guys? We're talking about sex, and I hope you're ready for my guest, the sex expert and host of the wildly popular podcast, Sex with Emily, Emily Morse. We're diving into why 26% of adult Americans are not having sex, the untold truth about men and women's sexuality, why we're in a sex recession, and the problem with messaging around sex that makes it shameful and a little bit dirty. Emily is about to leave you shocked. We are shattering preconceived notions for both men and women. You're going to have to listen to the whole thing to find out exactly how, but as a little bit of a teaser, guys, I'm telling you right now, Emily makes…
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