Marie Forleo on Why Even Your Failures Are Just Opportunities to Learn (Replay)
Marie Forleo discusses her book "Everything is Figureoutable," tracing the phrase's origins to her mother's problem-solving mindset and explaining how adopting this belief as a master key can help people overcome limiting beliefs and achieve their goals. She emphasizes that beliefs are choices, failures are learning opportunities, and taking action before you're ready is essential for growth.
Summary
Marie Forleo returns to Impact Theory as a three-time guest to discuss her book "Everything is Figureoutable." The central thesis stems from her childhood in a Jersey Italian-American home, where her resourceful mother constantly solved problems—from fixing roofs to retiling bathrooms to dismantling and repairing radios—all without formal training or the internet. When young Marie asked how her mother knew how to do so many things she'd never done before, her mother responded that nothing in life is that complicated and that everything is figureoutable. This phrase became embedded in Marie's psyche and became the driving force behind her entire life and business.
Marie explains that "everything is figureoutable" means something is achievable and possible. She establishes three rules to contain this idea: (1) All problems or dreams are figureoutable, (2) If a problem isn't figureoutable, it's not a problem but a fact of life like death or gravity, and (3) You may not care enough to solve a particular problem, and that's okay. She argues that this single belief functions as a master key that eliminates the need to hunt down every individual limiting belief—it handles everything beneath it.
The discussion covers how beliefs are formed, particularly through intense emotional experiences. Marie shares a powerful childhood memory of her parents' divorce being driven by financial stress, where her mother—devastated and visibly traumatized—told young Marie never to let a man control her money or life. This experience forged Marie's early belief system around financial independence and empowerment.
Marie and Tom discuss the importance of recognizing that beliefs are choices that can be changed, citing examples like Santa Claus and how societal beliefs have shifted over time. They explore confirmation bias and how people defend their existing beliefs, but emphasize that adopting the "everything is figureoutable" mindset can bypass the need for extensive belief-work.
The conversation addresses how to handle doubt and criticism. Marie shares a story about being laughed at on an escalator by a man who didn't believe her business (B-School) was real without a "rich boyfriend" backing it. She converted this into "fuck you fuel"—using the anger productively in the short term to drive action, then refocusing on her deeper purpose of making a difference. However, she acknowledges this isn't a sustainable long-term motivation strategy.
Marie introduces the concept of "failure is just an event, not a characteristic," and shares her personal mantra: "I win or I learn, but I never lose." She emphasizes that she still experiences genuine emotional reactions—crying, calling friends, wanting to give up—but uses these mantras to regain perspective and continue forward. She also discusses "start before you're ready," sharing how she began teaching dance without formal training and booked an MTV choreography gig despite feeling completely unprepared, which led to massive growth.
The discussion differentiates between fear and intuition through a somatic exercise: asking whether an opportunity makes you feel expansive or contracted. Expansive feelings involve lightness, forward movement, and excitement, while contracted feelings involve heaviness, dread, and physical withdrawal. Marie stresses that intuition often contradicts ego-driven desires and can prevent expensive mistakes. She warns against following others' metrics for success through groupthink in masterminds and personal development circles.
Marie and Tom discuss action as the antidote to fear and overwhelm, with Tom sharing his mantra "action cures all" and Marie's concept that "clarity comes from engagement, not thought." They emphasize that you don't need perfect plans or complete knowledge—you need to engage with the activity itself to gain feedback and clarity.
The book is presented as an instruction manual filled with exercises, somatic tools, cognitive tools, and practical strategies. Marie's ultimate hope is that readers will unlock their own possibility and then apply this belief to collectively solving larger societal problems.
About this episode
<p>Marie Forleo, author of “Everything is Figure-Outable”, is on a mission to help you succeed in life and in business. And that means showing everyone how to challenge their most deeply-held beliefs, and how to approach every situation as a learning opportunity. </p><p>On this episode of Impact Theory with Tom Bilyeu, Marie Forleo explains the relationship between action and clarity, how to tell the difference between fear and intuition, and why you always have to start before you’re ready. </p><p>[Original air date: September 10, 2019]. </p><p><br /></p><p>SHOW NOTES: </p><p>What does it mean to say everything is figure-outable? [2:13] </p><p>Marie describes why it was so important for her to write her book [9:21] </p><p>Marie advocates that every single person has immense personal power [10:45] </p><p>Marie describes watching her parents divorce over money [13:05] </p><p>Marie explains how to change deeply-held beliefs [16:46] </p><p>Marie and Tom discuss the only belief that matters [20:48] </p><p>Marie and Tom discuss what changed their beliefs about everything being figure-outable [24:00] </p><p>Marie explains how to face a hard truth when it comes from an enemy [26:31] </p><p>Marie describes how she uses negative emotions as fuel [29:51] </p><p>Marie explains why you have to start before you’re ready [31:57] </p><p>Marie explains the quote “failure is just an event, not a characteristic” [35:19] </p><p>Marie describes her relationship to fear [37:44] </p><p>Marie explains how to understand the difference between fear and intuition [40:41] </p><p>Marie describes the dangers of groupthink in self-development circles [44:00] </p><p>Marie details how to listen to your own body and intuition [45:32] </p><p><br /></p><p>FOLLOW: </p><p>WEBSITE: marieforleo.com </p><p>INSTAGRAM: http://bit.ly/2jVxZxH </p><p>FACEBOOK: http://bit.ly/2ltPR32 </p><p>TWITTER: http://bit.ly/2lqRZbP </p><p><br /></p><p>FOLLOW TOM:</p><p>Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/tombilyeu/</p><p>Tik Tok: https://www.tiktok.com/@tombilyeu?lang=en</p><p>Twitter: https://twitter.com/tombilyeu</p><p>YouTube: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/@TomBilyeu" target="_blank">https://www.youtube.com/@TomBilyeu</a></p><p><br /></p><p>SPONSORS:</p><p>For comprehensive financial news and analysis, visit the brand behind every great investor, <a href="https://yahoofinance.com" target="_blank">https://yahoofinance.com</a>.</p><p>save on the perfect gift by visiting <a href="https://auraframes.com/IMPACT" target="_blank">https://auraframes.com/IMPACT</a> to get $30-off plus free shipping on their best-selling frame. </p><p> Use this link and Hartford Gold will give you up to $15,000 dollars of FREE silver on your first qualifying: <a href="http://order.offers.americanhartfordgold.com/content-affiliate/?&leadsource=affiliate&utm_sfcampaign=701Rb000009EnmrIAC" target="_blank">order.offers.americanhartfordgold.com/content-affiliate/?&leadsource=affiliate&utm_sfcampaign=701Rb000009EnmrIAC</a></p><p>Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at <a href="https://shopify.com/impact" target="_blank">https://shopify.com/impact</a> </p><p>Explore the Range Rover Sport at <a href="https://landroverusa.com" target="_blank">https://landroverusa.com</a>.</p><p>Go to https://ground.news/tom and you can get 40% off unlimited access this month. </p><p><a href="https://bit.ly/GroundImpact" target="_blank">https://bit.ly/GroundImpact</a></p><p>Go to <a href="https://go.lumen.me/impact" target="_blank">https://go.lumen.me/impact</a> and get $50 off your Lumen!</p><p>Get 5 free AG1 Travel Packs and a FREE 1 year supply of Vitamin D with your first purchase at <a href="https://bit.ly/AG1Impact" target="_blank">https://drinkag1.com/impact</a>.</p><p>Secure your digital life with proactive protection for your assets, identity, family, and tech – Go to <a href="https://aura.com/IMPACT" target="_blank">https://aura.com/IMPACT</a> to start your free two-week trial.</p><p>Take control of your gut health by going to <a href="https://tryviome.com/impact" target="_blank">https://tryviome.com/impact</a> and use code IMPACT to get 20% off your first 3 months and free shipping.</p><p><br /></p><p><strong><em>***Are You Ready for EXTRA Impact?***</em></strong></p><p>If you’re ready to find true fulfillment, strengthen your focus, and ignite your true potential, the Impact Theory subscription was created just for you. </p><p><br /></p><p><strong>*New episodes delivered ad-free, EXCLUSIVE access to hundreds of archived Impact Theory episodes, Tom AMAs, and so much more!*</strong></p><p>This is not for the faint of heart. 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Key Insights
- Marie argues that the phrase 'everything is figureoutable' originated from her mother's problem-solving approach and became the single biggest driving force throughout her life, from getting rejected on sports teams to building her entire business.
- Marie claims that adopting the belief that everything is figureoutable functions as a master key that eliminates the need to individually hunt down and change every limiting belief—it handles all underlying beliefs automatically.
- Marie contends that beliefs are choices, not recognitions of truth, and provides evidence that societal and individual beliefs have shifted throughout history (using Santa Claus as an example), proving beliefs can be changed.
- Marie argues that the phrase 'failure is just an event, not a characteristic' is critical because people often attach their identity to failures, and she uses the mantra 'I win or I learn, but I never lose' to prevent this identity attachment.
- Marie asserts that intense emotional experiences, particularly in childhood, disproportionately forge our belief systems about how the world works and our place in it, as demonstrated by her parents' divorce shaping her financial independence beliefs.
- Marie claims that fear is directional and serves as a GPS for where the soul most wants to go, making it an instructive guidance tool rather than an enemy to be defeated, when distinguished from genuine safety threats.
- Marie argues that the somatic exercise of asking whether an opportunity feels 'expansive or contracted' in your body reliably distinguishes between true intuition and ego-driven fear, and that intuition often contradicts prestigious opportunities that don't actually align with personal values.
- Marie contends that 'clarity comes from engagement, not thought,' meaning people must take active steps and test ideas rather than remaining in mental cycles of analysis, because external feedback and internal felt sense only emerge through action.
Topics
Transcript
You are listening to Impact Theory. Impact Theory. Impact Theory. Impact Theory. Impact, baby! Hey, everyone. Welcome to Impact Theory. Today's guest is Impact Theory's first-ever three-peat for a full-blown breakdown of her obscenely long list of awe-inspiring accomplishments, which you can go back and watch either of our previous two encounters and get that entire laundry list. For now, I'll just say this. She is a hard-working jersey girl with the kind of insights you can live your life by and in her book everything is figureoutable she turned those insights into an instruction manual for an amazing life and that is exactly what we're going to be diving into today so without further ado I give you the…
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