You're Never The Right Age | Fares Elhelali | TEDxAbbey Park HS Youth

Fares Elhelali opens by describing a contradiction he personally experienced: receiving a LinkedIn comment telling him to 'stop trying so hard and just be a kid,' while simultaneously being pressured by a family friend to have his entire university future mapped out. He uses this tension to introduce his central thesis — that young people are never considered the 'right age,' always too young to be taken seriously yet too old to not have everything figured out.

Fares references a study showing 81% of young workers feel undervalued and 69% miss opportunities due to their age, establishing that this experience is systemic, not personal. He then introduces the concept of 'the gray' — the uncomfortable in-between space where most of life actually happens — arguing this is not a problem to solve but a natural state to embrace.

He recounts joining a three-year youth leadership program at age 13 as its youngest-ever member, surrounded by university students with jobs and internships. He describes experiencing imposter syndrome, citing studies that up to 70% of youth have felt they didn't belong in a room. Despite two consecutive project failures — outreach programs for seniors with amnesia and people with disabilities that received zero responses — he persisted and in his third year helped build a nonprofit that impacted over 400 middle school students through debate and public speaking.

Fares then shares a deeply personal moment during the organization of a schoolboard-wide food drive, describing a night alone in a dark room feeling invisible, watching friends socialize without him and siblings post achievements on social media. Having immigrated to Canada at age 10 without speaking English, he felt the loneliness acutely. He considered quitting, but a conversation with his mother — who asked simply 'is that what you actually want?' — pushed him to continue, not out of self-belief but out of refusal to prove his doubters right.

The food drive ultimately succeeded despite losing 8 of 12 schools to legal issues days before the event. A family's gratitude reminded him of the real impact. He uses the partial success to challenge binary thinking — success vs. failure, too young vs. too old — arguing that life doesn't fit neatly into boxes. He concludes by citing Mark Zuckerberg and Bill Gates as examples of people who acted before they were 'ready,' and urges his audience to stop waiting for permission that will never come.