The Price of War | Filip Dikmen | TEDxMalmö

Filip Dikmen, a Swedish-Syriak Aramaic Christian Orthodox speaker, reframes the understanding of patriarchy by examining it through the lens of what it demands from men rather than solely what it denies women. He uses the metaphor of a pyramid throne structure to describe how historical societies organized power hierarchies and the military as the mechanism for maintaining them.

Dikmen identifies three primary techniques used throughout history to groom young boys for military violence: (1) Separation from the feminine, exemplified by ancient Sparta, where boys learned to suppress traditionally feminine qualities like softness, empathy, and vulnerability—qualities necessary to commit violence against civilians including women and children; (2) Public humiliation rituals, such as hazing in militaries, sports, and fraternities, which strip boys of honor and self-worth while offering the promise of regaining it through battlefield sacrifice; and (3) Sexual rewards, where women are presented as spoils of war and conquest, incentivizing male participation in violence.

Dikmen then illustrates these historical patterns with a detailed contemporary family narrative centered on 'Steve,' a World War soldier who returns home traumatized. While Steve was away, his wife evolved to fill gaps in society, developing independence and capability. Upon his return, Steve—broken by propaganda-induced dehumanization, sexual conditioning, and combat trauma—becomes unable to function. He abuses his wife, beats his son to suppress softness as the army did to him, and experiences conflicted feelings toward his daughter that stem from wartime sexual conditioning. The cycle perpetuates as Steve transmits the patriarchal violence to his own children.

Finally, Dikmen connects historical patterns to contemporary concerns: rising male loneliness, online misogynistic radicalization, anti-intellectualism targeting young men, and simultaneously, record military spending and weapons industry profits in 2024-2025. He concludes by questioning whether society is grooming boys for life or for war.