Lead with fire | Jeremy Qualls | TEDxMurfreesboro

Jeremy Qualls opens with a vivid scene from the summer of 1982, describing how he, as a four-year-old boy, was accidentally engulfed in flames when a friend threw gasoline on a fire. His older brother saved his life using the stop, drop, and roll technique, but Qualls still suffered burns to over 30% of his body. After two months at Vanderbilt Medical Center, he recovered and attended the World's Fair. When he left the hospital, his father told him, 'Son, you're going to be a leader one day and I want you to lead with fire.' Qualls explains this phrase carries two meanings: give 100% energy in everything you do, and never use hardship as a crutch — instead, use it to help others.

Qualls describes his father as a man full of 'country popisms' — folksy wisdom delivered with unusual directness. Rather than verbal conversations, his father's preferred communication method was the Post-it note. These short, pointed messages became some of the most formative guidance in Qualls's life.

The first Post-it note story centers on Qualls's early coaching career. At 22, he became a high school head basketball coach, fresh off playing under a highly successful college coach, and believed he already knew everything. His father left him a note reading, 'True power only comes to those that do not seek it. Be ready.' Qualls ignored this lesson, using his players as instruments for his own ambition, and his teams went 5-21 and then 6-20. He references a veteran football coach named Jimmy Gentry, who distilled his leadership philosophy into five phrases represented on his knuckles: 'How can I help you today?', 'I'm proud of you', 'I love you', 'Thank you', and finally 'We' — not I. Qualls concludes that effective leadership means pointing the spotlight at those you lead, not seeking it for yourself.

The second Post-it note arrived when Qualls became a 32-year-old principal. His father, himself a former educator and commissioner of education, warned him of the tough decisions ahead. The note read: 'If you're going to err, err on the side of humans.' Qualls illustrates this with a story about a student brought to his office for a dress code violation — jeans with holes above the knee. When he spoke with the girl, he discovered her house had burned down and she was living out of a truck with her father. He got her clothes and food and sent her back to class. That afternoon, he held what he describes as a 'salty faculty meeting' where the staff committed to always finding out the 'why' behind a student's behavior before taking disciplinary action. As a result, discipline referrals dropped from 1,000 to 52 over two years, demonstrating that humane leadership transforms culture.

The third Post-it note came during a second coaching stint. Having been fired before, Qualls was determined to prove himself. His father's note read: 'Turn your scars into stars. Be ready.' He tells the story of Nick, a player with an exceptional basketball IQ but limited athleticism, who was also constantly angry. During practice one day, Nick threw his jersey at Qualls and quit. Qualls initially felt relief and the team had its best practice. But the next morning, Nick returned to tell Qualls something important: 'You never asked why.' Nick revealed his father was an alcoholic who lived nearby but had never watched him play, and he didn't know where his mother was or what he'd eat that night. This moment shattered Qualls's self-focus. He helped Nick transition to other sports, and Nick thrived — becoming a unifying leader on the football scout team without even playing. When basketball season resumed, Nick returned to the team, and in a critical final-seconds game situation, it was Nick who drew up the winning play on the whiteboard. They won by one point. Nick went on to become a first-generation college graduate, a military veteran, and remains close to Qualls's family. Qualls closes by challenging the audience to write someone an encouraging Post-it note, ending it with his father's signature phrase: 'Be ready.'