How to own the stereotypes others give you | Jerry Zheng | TEDxSurrey
Jerry Zheng recounts being labeled a 'mandarin orange' at a piano competition and how it sparked reflection on Asian stereotypes. He argues that stereotypes can become harmful when reframed negatively, and that the real challenge is to embrace every part of your identity rather than apologize for it. He illustrates this through his mother's sacrifices and his creation of the Grace Notes Initiative.
Summary
Jerry Zheng opens with a personal story from age 14, when he competed in the Canadian Music Competition after months of rigorous preparation. After his performance, he overheard a judge remark, 'Look at them. All mandarin oranges,' referring to the Chinese competitors. The comment devastated him, making him feel invisible and reduced to a stereotype rather than recognized as an individual musician.
His mother's response became a turning point. Rather than validating his hurt, she asked whether he was ashamed of being a mandarin orange or ashamed of what he did — questions that forced him to examine why the comment stung. Zheng notes that the term 'mandarin orange' is not inherently offensive; mandarins symbolize good luck in Chinese culture. The pain came from the reframing of a neutral or even positive cultural identity into a dismissive label.
Zheng then explores how stereotypes about Asian kids evolve from observations ('Asian kids are great at math and music') into demeaning narratives ('Asian kids don't think for themselves'). He describes how this pressure leads Asian parents on WeChat to publicly deny forcing their children to study, and how a college adviser once questioned whether piano would help him stand out as a Chinese boy — a comment that made him consider abandoning stereotypically Asian pursuits.
To counter this, Zheng shares his mother's story: she grew up poor in rural China, studied by oil lamp, became the only student from her village admitted to university, and later gave up her career stability to bring Jerry to Canada. Her involvement in his education — from Sudoku puzzles to piano coaching — stemmed not from cultural rigidity but from a desire to give him opportunities she never had. Zheng argues this nurturing context is something to be proud of, not apologized for.
He also describes how he channeled his piano skills into community service by performing at retirement homes, eventually founding the Grace Notes Initiative — an online platform connecting volunteer musicians with community venues. Through these performances, he witnessed music awakening memories and bridging generations, reinforcing his belief that embracing a stereotype can become a source of collective joy.
Zheng concludes by distinguishing between stereotypes rooted in hate (which should be rejected) and those that have been negatively reframed (which can be reclaimed). He urges the audience to hold onto every part of their identity for its personal significance, declaring himself proudly 'a mandarin orange — bright, musical, a little nerdy.'
Key Insights
- Zheng argues that stereotypes become harmful not in their original form but when they are progressively reframed — moving from 'Asian kids are great at math and music' to 'Asian kids don't think for themselves' — and that buying into these reframed versions is what makes them demeaning.
- Zheng contends that the pressure to prove oneself 'more than a stereotype' is a distraction from the real challenge, which is to hold onto every part of one's identity regardless of what others say, without letting others reframe something positive into something negative.
- Zheng's mother reframed his distress after the competition not by dismissing the judge's comment but by asking whether he was ashamed of being a mandarin orange or of what he does — a distinction that shifted his perspective from victimhood to self-examination.
- Zheng argues that the stereotype of Asian immigrant parents forcing activities onto their children obscures a more tender truth: these parents simply want to be as involved as possible in their child's education, giving support they themselves never had, even if it means being overzealous.
- Zheng describes how his retirement home piano performances grew into the Grace Notes Initiative — an online platform bridging volunteer musicians with community venues — demonstrating his claim that embracing a stereotyped passion can become a vehicle for spreading collective joy.
Topics
Full transcript available for MurmurCast members
Sign Up to Access