How To Own Any Room Without Faking Confidence | Sherhara Burrell | TEDxThird Ward
Speaker Sherhara Burrell argues that owning a room comes not from confidence (which is conditional and unreliable) but from conviction born of recurring lifelong desires. She demonstrates this through her own story of renting a theater with only $500 to deliver her first keynote speech.
Summary
Sherhara Burrell opens by sharing the familiar internal dialogue of nervousness and self-doubt that many experience when trying to 'own a room.' Despite having no major accolades or awards, she has learned to command rooms not through faking confidence, but through understanding what she calls 'recurring desires' - the consistent desires that follow us from childhood through adulthood. She traces her own recurring desire back to fifth grade when she became a school mediator, continuing through being elected student body president in seventh grade, working as an MC in her twenties, and becoming a communication coach in her thirties. Burrell explains that these desires are different from goals because they never leave us and only get louder when ignored. Her theory was tested when, at age 40 and tired of waiting for her breakthrough as a keynote speaker, she decided to rent a theater with only $500 on her credit card. She rallied her community to help with everything else by simply saying 'I have an idea.' Despite the theater not being sold out on the night of her keynote, she delivered powerfully because she was moving with conviction rather than confidence. She concludes with a three-step process: identify your recurring desires, stop searching for confidence, and move with conviction by sharing your ideas.
Key Insights
- Burrell identifies an 'invisible force' called recurring desires - desires that never leave you and remain consistent from childhood through adulthood
- Burrell argues that recurring desires are different from goals because goals change and you move on from them, but recurring desires hunt you down and show up across decades
- Burrell defines conviction as 'what happens when recurring desires refuse to die' rather than something you build or fake
- Burrell claims that confidence is conditional and shows up when everything goes right but disappears when it doesn't, while conviction is unconditional
- Burrell demonstrates that saying 'I have an idea' gives conviction its activation and enables you to rally community support around your vision
Topics
Transcript
[0:00] Please welcome Shahara Burell. Okay, just breathe. You got this. What? Wait, what am I supposed to say again? Why am I so nervous? Come on now. You've done this before. But what if I say the wrong thing? What will they think? Come on now. I'm fine. I'm fine. [0:33] Oh, wait. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, you're losing them. Okay, smile. No. Relax, girl. No, no, no, no. Power pose. Now, raise your hand if this sounds a little familiar. Oh, okay. Yes. It's my inner dialogue, too. Now, raise your hand if you've ever been told, "Fake it till you make it." Okay. Yes. and we all have. Okay, now that strategy, it works for…
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