Unlocking the Sniper School Cheat Code 😂
A soldier recounts completing sniper school while suffering from a kidney stone and valley fever, spending the night in the hospital and taking a critical unknown distance test while still under the effects of Vicodin. Despite requesting a retest, the instructor refused, but the soldier's drug-induced relaxation accidentally led to achieving the top score.
Summary
In this brief, humorous clip, a soldier describes a remarkable and unlikely success story from his time at sniper school. He was dealing with two serious medical conditions simultaneously — a kidney stone and valley fever — serious enough to hospitalize him the night before a critical exam called the UKD (Unknown Distance) test. Hospital staff were uncertain of the exact diagnosis but acknowledged he was in significant pain, prescribing him Vicodin for relief.
The next morning, still under the influence of the painkiller, he approached his instructor to request a postponement of the test. The instructor refused, explaining the old-school philosophy that sniper school's purpose was not to produce more snipers, but to protect the difficulty and prestige of the program. The choice was simple: take the test or go home and try again next year.
Choosing to take the test, the soldier was permitted one accommodation — his spotter was allowed to help him dial in the settings. All he had to do was squeeze the trigger. In a twist of irony, the extreme relaxation caused by the Vicodin resulted in an exceptionally smooth trigger squeeze, and he ended up achieving the top score on the test. He humorously reflects on sitting there thinking his trigger technique was outstanding, not fully attributing his success to the medication.
Key Insights
- The speaker completed sniper school while simultaneously suffering from a kidney stone and valley fever, serious enough conditions to require a hospital stay the night before a major test.
- The instructor articulated a deliberate old-school philosophy that sniper school's role was not to produce more snipers but to protect the program's reputation for difficulty.
- The speaker was given a partial accommodation — his spotter could help dial in the rifle settings — but the speaker still had to squeeze the trigger himself.
- The speaker argues that his Vicodin-induced physical relaxation directly caused an unusually smooth trigger squeeze, which resulted in him achieving the top score on the unknown distance test.
- The speaker humorously notes that in his impaired state, he genuinely believed his trigger technique was simply excellent, crediting skill rather than the medication.
Topics
Transcript
[0:00] Finish sniper school with a kidney stone and valley fever and they're like, "Well, we don't know what it is, but we can tell you're in a lot of pain." They gave me Vicodin. So, I spend the night in this hospital and the next day we have our UKD test, unknown distance test. And I am still high from Vicodin. So, I asked the instructor, "Man, I just spent the night in the hospital. Do you think I could retake this test some other time?" And like back then, they didn't feel like it was their job to make more snipers. They felt it was their job to protect how hard sniper [0:30] school was. And so, he…
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