Bro Took a Dump on the Sergeant Major's Desk 💀
A military story about a soldier who defecated on a sergeant major's desk as an act of defiance, then posted lookouts while doing it. The next morning, the sergeant major confronted the formation asking who defecated on his desk, but the perpetrator was never caught.
Summary
This transcript captures a military barracks story involving an act of extreme insubordination. A soldier, frustrated with what he perceived as unfair treatment from his sergeant major, orchestrated a bizarre revenge plot. He strategically positioned his fellow soldiers as lookouts at various doors of the barracks, telling them to watch for anyone coming while he went inside. The soldier then went to the sergeant major's office and defecated directly on his desk. The next morning during formation, the sergeant major came out asking 'who shit on my desk?' - apparently having discovered the mess and needing to physically clean it off his desk. The perpetrator confided in his fellow soldiers that same night about what he had done, and while they found the situation hilarious in retrospect, particularly imagining the sergeant major having to scrape feces off his desk, the culprit was never identified or punished for the act.
Key Insights
- The soldier positioned multiple lookouts at different doors before committing his act of defiance against the sergeant major
- The perpetrator's motivation was frustration with perceived unfair treatment, saying the sergeant major was 'being able to us'
- The sergeant major discovered the incident and had to physically scrape feces off his desk
- The sergeant major began the morning formation by directly asking 'who shit on my desk'
- The perpetrator confessed to his fellow soldiers that night but was never officially caught or identified
Topics
Transcript
[0:00] You know, they make you do watch and out of the barracks. A really good friend of mine, he posted all his guys up. They're like, "You go watch that door. You watch the front door. You watch the back door. I'll be right back." Went in to the sergeant major's desk and took a huge right on his desk. And we're standing out there in formation the next morning. And this guy was just a total he was just like, "Dude, we're not even doing anything. You're being able to us." He comes out. He's like, "You seals who up my desk?" Starts the muster with who [0:31] [ __ ] on my desk. >> Did he ever…
Full transcript available for MurmurCast members
Sign Up to AccessMore from Shawn Ryan Show
Shawn Ryan's Most Personal Interview | Official Preview
Shawn Ryan discusses a disturbing psychedelic experience he describes as encountering demonic entities, followed by supernatural disturbances in his home and four exorcisms. The interview then shifts to a biblical discussion about the Old Testament's authenticity and moral teachings, contrasting religious truth with modern societal issues like gender ideology.
FBI Agent on Who's Really Behind the Spain Border Surge 😳
An FBI agent discusses the migrant surge at the Spain-Morocco border, distinguishing between organic migration and government/cartel-coordinated movements. The speaker uses analogies about checkpoints and cartel operations to explain how migration patterns shift when enforcement is reduced, suggesting organized rather than spontaneous movement.
His First Border Bust Involved Fake Cartel Cops 😳
A border patrol agent describes his first major drug bust at the US-Mexico border, where they seized 3,000 lbs of drugs loaded in trucks. The operation was complicated by cartel members impersonating police using fake vehicles identical to official border patrol trucks, and he reflects on the ethical differences between interrogation methods used by Mexican officials versus those permitted in the United States.
The Demonic Vision That Ended His Satanism 😳
A man recounts his high school involvement with Satanism and witchcraft in the 1980s, describing how he was acting out a demonic possession scene while drinking with friends when he experienced a supernatural vision of a demonic figure that prompted him to abandon his occult interests and seek refuge in church.
Undercover FBI Agent Gets Hired for a Hit 😳
An undercover FBI agent describes infiltrating a murder-for-hire plot where an incarcerated man solicited a gang member to kill a child and his family in Wisconsin. The agent met with the suspect, who quoted prices ranging from $2,000 to $10,000 for the murders.