Bro Took a Dump on the Sergeant Major's Desk 💀
A military story about a soldier who defecated on a sergeant major's desk as an act of defiance, then posted lookouts while doing it. The next morning, the sergeant major confronted the formation asking who defecated on his desk, but the perpetrator was never caught.
Summary
This transcript captures a military barracks story involving an act of extreme insubordination. A soldier, frustrated with what he perceived as unfair treatment from his sergeant major, orchestrated a bizarre revenge plot. He strategically positioned his fellow soldiers as lookouts at various doors of the barracks, telling them to watch for anyone coming while he went inside. The soldier then went to the sergeant major's office and defecated directly on his desk. The next morning during formation, the sergeant major came out asking 'who shit on my desk?' - apparently having discovered the mess and needing to physically clean it off his desk. The perpetrator confided in his fellow soldiers that same night about what he had done, and while they found the situation hilarious in retrospect, particularly imagining the sergeant major having to scrape feces off his desk, the culprit was never identified or punished for the act.
Key Insights
- The soldier positioned multiple lookouts at different doors before committing his act of defiance against the sergeant major
- The perpetrator's motivation was frustration with perceived unfair treatment, saying the sergeant major was 'being able to us'
- The sergeant major discovered the incident and had to physically scrape feces off his desk
- The sergeant major began the morning formation by directly asking 'who shit on my desk'
- The perpetrator confessed to his fellow soldiers that night but was never officially caught or identified
Topics
Transcript
[0:00] You know, they make you do watch and out of the barracks. A really good friend of mine, he posted all his guys up. They're like, "You go watch that door. You watch the front door. You watch the back door. I'll be right back." Went in to the sergeant major's desk and took a huge right on his desk. And we're standing out there in formation the next morning. And this guy was just a total he was just like, "Dude, we're not even doing anything. You're being able to us." He comes out. He's like, "You seals who up my desk?" Starts the muster with who [0:31] [ __ ] on my desk. >> Did he ever…
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