Kiara Advani On Marriage, Motherhood, Relationships, Bollywood & Heartbreak | FO507 Raj Shamani
Bollywood actress Kiara Advani speaks candidly with Raj Shamani about her experience with postpartum depression, the identity shift that comes with motherhood, and her journey from early career struggles to stardom. She shares personal reflections on people-pleasing tendencies, the importance of self-validation, and her philosophy on raising her daughter with full autonomy.
Summary
In this wide-ranging conversation, Kiara Advani opens up about the profound transformation she experienced after becoming a mother to her daughter Raya. She describes postpartum as something nobody talks about enough, sharing that even two to three days before the interview she dealt with a sudden skin condition that earlier in life would have derailed her, but now she pushes through with a 'nothing can stop me' attitude. She explains that motherhood has made her a completely different person, noting that for the first time in 34 years she has learned to nurture a relationship with herself, having spent her whole life being 'other-centric.'
Kiara discusses the concept of 'mom brain' — the constant mental juggling of feeding schedules, multitasking, sleep deprivation, and emotional fragility — while emphasizing that it is also the most magical experience a human body can go through. She calls for the destigmatization of postpartum emotions, stressing that a mother is allowed to feel everything she is feeling without being labeled ungrateful. She credits her 'girl gang' and mom network as her biggest support system through six months of postpartum struggle.
On her acting career, Kiara reflects on her debut film 'Fugly' being largely unknown, and the five-year grind from 2014 to 2019 filled with rejections, auditions, and limited opportunities before 'Kabir Singh' changed everything. She shares that she never stopped believing in herself during that period, adopting the mindset that 'work brings more work.' She also discusses how she loses herself in certain roles, particularly citing 'Shershaah' as a film where she knew she had nailed it, and 'Guilty' as one where the heavy subject matter spilled into her personal emotional state.
Kiara discusses the 'shadow effect' — how growing up watching her parents' loving relationship set her benchmark for what she wanted in her own life. She talks about how her father, who lost his parents at 18 and was self-made, influenced the traits she sought in a partner. She and Sidharth kept their relationship private for years, simply wanting a normal private life without media intrusion.
On parenting philosophy, Kiara says she wants to raise her daughter without preconditioned notions, letting her make all her own choices and experience life fully — not through the lens of her parents' experiences. She cites how Sidharth, when asked about being a protective dad, wisely said their job is not to restrict their daughter but to teach her to choose what's right for herself. Finally, she shares the story behind her Met Gala appearance — going while seven months pregnant, with Gaurav Gupta designing an umbilical cord-inspired breastplate that personally connected her pregnancy to the iconic fashion moment.
Key Insights
- Kiara Advani reveals she experienced postpartum struggles for six months after her daughter's birth, describing it as an identity shift where her hormones, sense of self, and emotional state were all disrupted simultaneously — and argues this is vastly under-discussed because society tells new mothers they should only feel happy.
- Kiara states that becoming a mother was the first time in 34 years she finally built a relationship with herself, having spent her entire life being 'other-centric' — and considers this the best thing she has ever done for herself.
- Kiara describes her five-year struggle from her debut film 'Fugly' (2014) to 'Kabir Singh' (2019), during which she faced constant rejections and limited opportunities, but maintained the mindset that 'work brings more work' — never asking whether a project was the right setup, just wanting to be on set.
- Kiara identifies her childhood pattern of people-pleasing — always adjusting timings and accommodating others to make them comfortable — as a behavioral pattern she is now consciously breaking post-marriage and motherhood, having recognized it as a disservice to her own sense of self.
- On raising her daughter, Kiara explicitly says she does not want her daughter to experience life through her parents' experiences, and wants to raise her without any preconditioned notion of how relationships or life 'should' be — including not pressuring her toward marriage, allowing her full autonomy over her own choices.
Topics
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