Grief Expert: The 6 Stages of Grief | David Kessler
David Kessler discusses the six stages of grief, adding a sixth stage to the traditional five and emphasizing the importance of experiencing grief to achieve healing and personal transformation. He argues that true joy comes from navigating grief and connecting with one another authentically.
Summary
In this conversation, grief expert David Kessler elaborates on the concept that grief is intrinsically linked to change, suggesting that those who can manage change well tend to lead happier lives. Kessler outlines the six stages of grief, including denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, and the newly added stage of meaning, emphasizing that while acceptance is crucial, it is not the end of the journey. He shares his personal experience with grief following the unexpected death of his son and reflects on the importance of getting support from others during the grieving process. Kessler highlights the need for connection, stating that grief should be witnessed by others to facilitate healing. He discusses the common feelings of guilt and disloyalty that arise when a person begins to experience joy after loss. This conversation emphasizes the idea that individuals should embrace their feelings as a natural part of the human experience, urging listeners to accept their emotions rather than judge them. Kessler concludes by stressing that love and connection are paramount, and encourages people to seek support for their grief, fostering an environment where healing is possible.
Key Insights
- Kessler defines grief as a change we didn't want, which can manifest through various life events like job loss or divorce.
- Kessler adds a sixth stage to grief, focusing on finding meaning after loss, suggesting 'who do we become after the horrible event?'
- He argues that grief must be witnessed, meaning we need others to acknowledge and validate our pain.
- Kessler explains that grief and love are intertwined, suggesting that one cannot fully love or live without experiencing grief.
- He asserts that what we run from persists, and until we face our pain, we cannot achieve true transformation.
Topics
Transcript
[0:00] If you grieve well, you live well. >> Grief is [music] about change. Those of us who can manage change well actually are happier in life. >> If you get stuck in the breakup, [music] the job loss, whatever it is, you're not going to do well. >> He's one of the world's foremost grief experts and bestselling author who has helped millions of people learn how to heal after loss. Please welcome David Kesler. [music] >> Grief must be witnessed. >> What does that mean? It means if you are in grief, you need another person to go, [0:32] "That job [music] meant a lot. I'm so sorry that happened to you." Why does that need to happen?…
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