Are you attracting relationships from WOUNDS?
The speaker discusses how people attract relationships based on matching psychological wounds and stress levels. When one person heals and evolves while their partner doesn't, the relationship naturally ends.
Summary
The conversation explores the concept that people form relationships with others who have similar psychological wounds and stress levels. The speaker explains that humans can sense stress hormones in others, which creates attraction between people with matching nervous system states, though this is described as a short-term factor. More significantly, the discussion focuses on how inner child wounds and shadow work represent longer-term psychological patterns that influence relationship formation. The speaker asserts with complete certainty that people attract relationships based on their psychological wounds. A key dynamic discussed is what happens when one person in a relationship begins healing and evolving while their partner remains stuck in the same psychological patterns - in these cases, the person who has grown will naturally distance themselves from the relationship. This suggests that sustained relationships require both partners to grow and heal at similar rates, or they will become incompatible as their psychological states diverge.
About this episode
🔔 Subscribe for more great content: https://www.youtube.com/lewishowes Listen to this episode on the go! 🍎 Apple Podcasts: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-school-of-greatness/id596047499 🟢 Spotify: https://open.spotify.com/show/07GQhOZboEZOE1ysnFLipT?si=a03d916bade54d4f 💰 get my NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING book "Make Money Easy" today!https://lewishowes.com/moneyyou 📙 get my NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLING book "The Greatness Mindset" today! https://lewishowes.com/gmyo 📤 sign up for my FREE newsletter https://lewishowes.com/greatnessdelivered Follow Lewis! Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lewishowes/ Tiktok: https://www.tiktok.com/@lewis Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/lewishowes/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/LewisHowes 💻 Website: http://lewishowes.com/ 📲 For more Greatness text PODCAST to +1 (614) 350-3960 Get More Greatness! Greatness Clips: https://www.youtube.com/@GreatnessClips Spanish: https://www.youtube.com/@LewisHowesEspañol Portuguese: https://www.youtube.com/@LewisHowesPortugues Lewis Howes Shorts: https://www.youtube.com/@lewishowesshorts #greatness #inspiration #motivation
Key Insights
- The speaker claims people can sense stress hormone levels in others, but clarifies this sensing is not through smell
- The speaker distinguishes between short-term stress hormone sensing and longer-term inner child and shadow psychological patterns in relationship formation
- The speaker states with complete certainty that people attract relationships based on matching psychological wounds
Topics
Transcript
[0:00] You meet people [music] on the same level of psychological wound as you. >> Oh, yeah. >> You also leave people where if you evolve out of that and they haven't [music] been able to. >> Wow. Which I think goes back to one of the things, one of the pieces of content I heard you talk about, which is like [music] the sense of smell connected to someone's stress levels or anxiety levels. Like you'll kind of attract a similar nervous system or I guess a certain similar like I don't know stress level. >> Yeah. It's not smell if [music] sensing [0:31] not through smell the level of the stress hormone. Yeah. >> Interesting. >> But that's…
Full transcript available for MurmurCast members
Sign Up to AccessMore from Lewis Howes
EVERYBODY Has Relationship Issues!
Everyone has relationship issues that need to be addressed, and modern relationships are under unprecedented strain. People now expect a single romantic partner to fulfill needs that were once met by an entire community, while traditional support structures have eroded. This creates a demand for strong communication skills that most people lack.
"Less friends, less bullsh**"
The speaker reflects on personal growth through reducing their social circle, including family members. They connect their past rage issues to their father's lack of emotional intelligence and describe how difficult subtractions ultimately led to self-discovery and comfort in their own identity.
The Real Reason Achieving More Won't Solve Your Problems | NBA Champion Kevin Love
NBA champion Kevin Love discusses his ongoing mental health journey, athletic mortality after 18 NBA seasons, the nine-year estrangement and reconciliation with his parents before his father's death, and how achieving success never filled the emotional void he expected it to. He also discusses his Kevin Love Fund, which provides social-emotional learning curricula to schools nationwide.
Kevin Love explains why you should "8 Mile" yourself...
Kevin Love describes his personal strategy of radical vulnerability, comparing it to Eminem's B-Rabbit character in 8 Mile, who disarms opponents by openly admitting his own weaknesses first. By publicly sharing his traumas, fears, and insecurities in a book and podcast, Love argues that no one can use those things against him. This openness becomes a form of emotional armor.
How to Rewire Your Reality
The transcript discusses how meaningful personal change requires a decision with emotional energy strong enough to override the brain's hardwired programs. The intensity of emotion tied to a choice strengthens memory and helps anchor a new mental and physical state. In essence, strong emotional investment allows the body to 'preview' a desired future.